Alcohol and guns

Try watering down his drink without telling him and see if he notices. Then he can still have it and it may not affect him as much. And if he doesn’t bring up having the drink, don’t mention it. As far as the guns go, don’t talk to him about getting rid of them, just slowly move them out of the house if you can. One by one. My DH has a few guns and they are all in the safe. He cannot remember the code to the safe and he rarely mentions the guns any more. For awhile he liked to have one in his nightstand. Many months ago I removed the bullets from it and he’s never noticed.

And if you do not have your legal documents in order such as medical and legal POA(Power of Attorney), now is the time to do so. Do not have him as your POA, however, since his reasoning is now compromised.

Take charge and remove the guns. It’s dangerous to have them. This Alzheimer’s website has an area for support groups that you can search. They also have online support group. If you can’t find it, call the toll free number and they will help. I found this forum was the best place for info and support.

You may consider having one of his friends he used to hunt with or even a police officer specialized in elder care/mental health come by and talk with him about removing the guns. Sometimes you need someone else who is in a position of authority to step in. alz.org/safety has information on how to best approach removing guns from the home. In the meantime, do the best you can at locking them up far away from him and keeping the bullets in a totally separate location from the weapon itself.

As for the alcohol, you can try watering it down or find a non-alcoholic brand that tastes like the real thing. In the MCF I worked at we had some residents that wanted a glass of wine or a beer with their dinners or they would completely resist eating dinner; we got non-alcoholic wine/beer, and I couldn't even tell the difference myself.

I, too, was wondering when to get the guns out. I walked into the room as DH was pulling the clip out of a handgun when it went off. The bullet went diagonally through the bed but if it was pointed higher it would have hit me. My 2 adult kids came over and took his guns and knives and they are now in my son’s gun safe. My DH was upset that the guns were being taken, especially when he was not previously notified. It wasn’t until the next day when my daughter explained to him how scared I was that I could have been shot that he better understood. To him, I had just overreacted when I tried to explain. He brought it up a few times after that but all is good now. On the other hand, he was not an avid hunter.
This will not be easy, as is anything with this disease. My heart and prayers are with all of us, everyday, as we take on this job we never would have applied for. All of you are my family, as I read this daily to see first how you all are doing, and then for the amazing insight and knowledge that is abound here. I’m especially grateful for those who are in stage 8 and are able to continue posting.
❤️🙏

this thread reminded me of this song from Gigi

Here in San Diego, not far, there are a number of support groups. Alz San Diego has a Zoom group evenings, that might be a helpful distraction. UCSD's Shiley Marcos Alzheimer's Center has various programs. Sharp probably has some, too, though I haven't looked there. You're in a place with a lot of good resources nearby.

Wow! Sandi you are getting things done! Great job!

None of this is easy and unfortunately, I am learning that every year gets harder.

Darn @Victoriaredux you made my eyes sweat!