Paranoia

welden · January 14

My wife has become paranoid. She has accused me of stealing her mail, and is convinced that our daughter has stolen bed pillows and jewelry from her. I’ve tried reasoning with her, but to no avail. Any ideas on how to deal with this?

charley0419 · January 14

I’m not your point yet but I do known reasoning is no more

harshedbuzz · January 14

Rule number one of Dementia Fight Club is never try to reason with someone who can't.

It's hard to be accused, but since your "crimes" are fairly benign so an apology might be enough to restore calm for your wife along with a snack and change of subject. If it comes up a lot, mention it to her doctor. Sometimes this behavior comes from anxiety and responds well to lose dose medication.

HB

trottingalong · January 14

My MIL thought people were stealing from her and thought her own kids were thieves.Sometimes we could deflect, other times we would tell her we would look into it or that a police report had been filed (her son was in the shop and she thought he was a thief, so he left). It was a very difficult period.

terei · January 14

Agree that ‘explaining’ facts is not going to work. ‘ I’m so sorry this happened! I will take care of it.’ Repeat, repeat repeat

mrsdee13 · January 15

My DH has many hallucinations and is paranoid daily. There is no reasoning, and it can work your nerves. So far, I suggest trying to deflect and redirect their attention elsewhere. My DH has blamed his son for stealing his guns and accused me of assisting him. Totally untrue. His son was here, and they went through the gun cabinet. My DH agreed on what he could take. He won't talk with his son or take his calls or texts. It's sad; we still have other guns in the home, and they need to be removed, also. He is always claiming someone has stolen something from him. He hasn't been officially diagnosed yet, but my assessment is he's in stage 2 or early stage 3 of Lewy body. Do you have any suggestions on how to get the other guns out without causing him to have a heart attack? We have excellent security cameras and alarm systems, but he still thinks someone is coming in and outside the home stealing things, but nothing is missing. I tell you, the hallucinations and paranoia are too much some days. I have to walk away because you can't convince them it's not. It's his reality; getting him diagnosed is not easy because he's so uncooperative. He has a couple of appointments scheduled in Feb. and March; I am praying we can get a clearer understanding and get him some help.

SDianeL · January 15

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/233921#Comment_233921

glad he has appointments to get a diagnosis. I would have your son take all the guns ASAP. It’s risky to keep them in the house. Make up a fib if you have to. Do you have a POA? If not get one right away. Tell him you’re both going to get them in case anything happens to either one of you. Within 6 months of diagnosis my DH couldn’t understand documents or sign his name. Glad we went to an attorney right away.

SDianeL · January 15

as others have said, you can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. It only increases their anxiety and agitation. Say you’re sorry and will never do it again. Repeat. Right after you apologize distract with a walk, car ride or favorite treat. If you haven’t done so read the book “The 36 hour Day” which helped me after my DH diagnosis.

Biggles · January 15

I agree with harshedbuzz you can’t discuss or reason with your LO but you can be kind, supportive and sympathetic and move on to chocolate cake, a cup of tea and a walk outside.
A story to make you smile- before we realised my mother-in-law wasn’t well she couldn’t find her jewellery was and sure it had been stolen. We hunted everywhere for it, she got angry, cross and wanted us to call the police, so we did. They arrived and took a statement from her, this was sent with a claim form to the insurance company who paid out quite a substantial amount. My mother-in-law had a new ring and bracelet made. Months later cleaning out her linen cupboard a neat little bag with her jewellery was found at the back. My gosh what to do, we called the insurance company they said honest mistake enjoy the spoils!! Horrible disease this isn’t it take care.

mrsdee13 · January 20

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/233930#Comment_233930

Yes, I have a DPOA since last January. We are trying to devise a good plan to get the other guns out of the home. If I ever feel threatened or see him get agitated, they will be gone right before his eyes. I am trying not to stress him out any more than necessary. His mobility is not very good, so I hope we can do this carefully and effectively.

Paranoia

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