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Feeling So Sad

Biggles
Biggles Member Posts: 334
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what do you do when sadness overtakes you. Today coming home in the car with my DH of 54 years he asked who are you?

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  • charley0419
    charley0419 Member Posts: 412
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    I’m so so sorry as that first time must hurt deep. I myself think of that day every day. Keep the faith

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 429
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    My DW is starting to lose who I am and it is truly heartbreaking. After all we have been through, I didn't think it would bother me but it bothers me profoundly.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 977
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    Dear Biggles, we cope one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time. I’m sorry it’s so hard and so sad. I understand the sadness. It never completely leaves me even when I’m laughing. Sending you a great big hug and lots of love.

    Brenda

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 236
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    I can’t help but have a cry…more often lately. As much as I try to do this out of sight of DH, sometimes the sadness is overwhelming. I try very hard after that to change my mood and move on…for me, this is not easy. Had to do it today!

  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 150
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    Cry, a lot. I always used to hold my emotions in but now it's impossible. People are surprisingly understanding, even the lady at the post office when I burst into tears. I've also tried breathing exercises (inhale to a count of 4, hold for a count of 6, exhale for a count of 4) which help. Sometimes the pain is so bad I have to remind myself that I won't die of sadness. It's just very hard. I hope that there is someone you can talk to — my brother is used to getting my calls any time of day or night when things are overwhelming. Wishing you better days.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 538
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    Biggles, I’m so sorry. I’m pretty upbeat overall, but when I have those days I’m pretty much useless. I just want to crawl into my bed and cry. I don’t even have the luxury of doing that, so like a robot, I feed the dogs, do the laundry and fix meals for my DH. I have been known to go sit in my car just long enough to scream at the top of my lungs. It helps.

  • June45
    June45 Member Posts: 368
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    My husband has been gone for almost 3 years. The sadness never really goes away. But it isn't as intense as it once was. After a good cry, reading a good book takes my mind somewhere else and helps. Jazzma mentioned calling a brother. My sister talked me off the ledge many times.

  • WIGO23
    WIGO23 Member Posts: 159
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    Biggles, I think we each find our path through sadness as best we can. Sometimes I wade in the pity pond for a bit. Sometimes I dive in and get fully immersed. But I try to cope this way: I will feel this sad pain for the next fifteen minutes. I will cry, if I need to. I will journal my sadness, if I need to.

    Then I move on to a task, a distraction like a walk (even if in the house), put on some 60’s music and try to dance, read a bit, work on a puzzle—whatever helps me to focus on something other than the overwhelming sadness that grabbed me.
    Rinse and repeat!

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 334
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    it’s so good and comforting to talk to people who understand. I like breathing and I too have a wonderful older brother who lives away and I think I will talk to him more often. Thankyou

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 334
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    Been there done that (screaming at the top of my voice in the car) and I’m usually upbeat untill it gets me. It’s nice to know you are not alone. Thankyou.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 334
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    Yes yes I can see myself in all you say - Thankyou hugs

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 334
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    June45 Thankyou

  • Cathy coconis
    Cathy coconis Member Posts: 12
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    I cry…as I am now. It just builds up and sometimes I feel better.Mostly I go day by day… I have some things that i can do to distract myself. I do watercolor painting because I can just lose myself in it. Time passes quickly. If I can I talk to friends that understand. Exercise does help even if I usually hate the thought of it. Listening to music I enjoy is good.

    I know it's a sad situation. I'm sorry that we're all stuck in it, But we have one another

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,299
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    we understand completely. Sadness comes in waves. Each new behavior is like a gut punch. Sometimes we can’t even take time to cry. I tried to cope by keeping busy with something that didn’t allow me to think. Puzzles, art, music, genealogy. Sometimes I just went into the bathroom closed the door and cried. Hugs. 💜

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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