Just need to talk to my friends (204)
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We spent most of the day in an emergency room yesterday. DW has gotten too weak to walk and fell, for the sixth time this month. I couldn't get her up, so I called for help and the EMTs thought she should be evaluated for injury. This was the final straw. I was contemplating memory care before the lymphoma diagnosis, on the advice of her doctor and mine, and last night I started the process for placement in skilled nursing care.
I felt iffy last night, thinking this was our last night together after nearly 58 years, but this morning I am sure I am doing the right thing. My back hurts, my shoulder hurts, and my eyes are bloodshot after getting only fragments of sleep. This job needs more than one old man to get it done. Keeping her home will got us both injured.
And I need to go outside and see some beautiful mornings.
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Carl, you've made a hard decision that will be best for both of you. I know it was hard but necessary. I sort of know how you feel. We applied to Oklahoma's State Veterans Homes for Charles and did get a couple of calls about a vacancy. I felt like I had been hit in the stomach when we got each letter. We didn't accept a vacancy and I was able to keep us together' hut I was many years younger and he was ambulatory almost to the end when he was hospitalized.
Today would have been our 54th anniversary - we made it almost to the 44th.Today is Earth Day and I think it began the year we got married.. Looks like it is going to be a beautiful day before three or four more days of rain and storms. I might work on transplanting the tree, then I could remember it was moved on Earth Day and our anniversary. I remember I made three trips that day moving things to our duplex, then the trip back to get married.
Judith, I hope you're okay this morning. Let us know.
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GG…I have a mixed religious family and friend circle also….Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist Christian and Diest.
Sun is out so I will be also. Accountant, meat market and Trader's are all due a visit.
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Good morning.
Carl, best wishes as you go forward with your decision.
Judith, you will have a busy day today. I'm glad you're feeling better.
Lorita, I'm glad you have so many happy memories. Today will be a great day for tree planting. How big is it?
Iris
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Good morning all…………..
Bless your heart Carl, you've made the very hard decision for the very best reason. You've got to protect the both of you. Big TX sized hug for you.
Lorita I hope you can spend the day outside with wonderful memories.
Ron you hang in there. Don't feel pressured to move if you don't want to move. Make a check list of pro's and con's and then think on it. You don't have to decide this minute I wouldn't think.
GG as I've said before, you won't regret this trip. We've made similar ones and look back fondly on them, good memories instead of regrets.
HB your plate is always so full. By any chance are you the Energizer Bunny?
We had a quiet Easter just us. We played several games and finished with Chinese Checkers. I have a love / hate relationship with our grill! I did steaks, or rather attempted steaks. All was great except for about 2 minutes when I ran inside to grab my drink. In that brief time my beautiful medium rare steaks tuned into blasted charcoal. One was worse than the other, but geeze. Its a very expensive grill that just has a mind of its own, and I'm over it. I really think it need huge amounts to cook instead of two pieces of chicken , fish, or beef.
Time for our daily dementia Zoom. Let's be safe everyone.
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Good morning Rockers.
Ron. Thank you for the update on your dentures. You have gone through a lot more,then I have. I'm not a patient person, I would probably have given up, and it's only been 6 months for me.
Carl. You and your DW, are in my prayers 🙏 and please don't feel bad for getting her the help she needs. It was hard when I placed my DH, but it was the best for both of us. Please take care of yourself.
Lorita. Have a good day outside, Charles, will be with you in thought and his loving spirit ❤️
Forgiveness has been the topic for the last few days. I can forgive but it's hard for me to forget. I wish I knew how to forgive myself, for things I have done, in the past.
I got some flower seeds, I plan on planting in two big flower pots, today. It gets so hot here in Arizona, I want to be able to get then out of the sun.
Happy Earth Day, Hugs Zetta
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Carl…oft times none of the choices is what we really want and we are left picking the most favorable. My heart is with you as you make this heavy decision. Maybe a viral sip of Blue Sapphire on the viral porch later?
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Iris, I got the hole dug, then went to dig up the tree. One shovel ful of dirt and I discovered the trunk goes out diagonally under the dirt. It II s about 5' tall. Can't use that one and about the same for the mulberry next to it.. I think they are saplings that have been cut off before. There was a pretty tree or shrub next to them so dug it up. The leaves look like I remember wild cherry leaves looking but don't think it is. If it lives we'll see . I know as many trees as we have on this place there's a good one somewhere. May have to buy one. There is Poke coming up everywhere. We used to look forward to it coming up to cook and eat with beans and cornbread.. Haven't eaten that for years.
It is a beautiful day- sunny with a breeze and just warm enough but rain is predicted. A day just like the one 54 years ago and that night as we were getting married we had a rain storm. April in Oklahoma. Oh, there is poison ivy growing up the big tree stump I had them leave, where I want to put the lantana on top.Need to spray that..
Thank all of you for the sweet thoughts. I just remembered a little black walnut tree about a foot tall that has come up next to the big one. l Could transplant that but the walnuts make it hard to walk on. Of course it will be many years before there would be walnuts.
Judith, glad you're better today. Maybe it was the position you slept in that caused the nerve thing.
Carl, you're in my thoughts todsy.
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Lorita, sorry I referred to Sarah as Carol; I should really write things down! I also thought that if you start new thread on first of each month, you could name it by month & year instead of or in addition to number. Is Sandy a neighbor you visit with? If so, that's nice to have a friend close by.
Carl I can only imagine the thoughts going through your mind, however, it seems like your DW needs more care and you need some assistance and self-care. You must do what you need to do. We are here for you. I was able to keep my LO home with me until the end, but he went downhill so fast; I was not ready for him to leave me. Two weeks of hospice, two days of watching him shut down, then he was gone. It is very difficult to watch someone you love take their last breath.
Judith, yesterday I watched a Netflix documentary on the OKC bombing; they interviewed a survivor and one woman who lost her 6 or 8 month old baby - so very sad.
Lorita and Judith, do you buy your plants from QVC? I've never purchased plants online and am thinking of trying.
GG you must feel so good about taking the trip to see you aunt. Sometimes we don't get that opportunity.
Marie, I wish I had never given up crochet! Even though a few months before my LO's stroke I went on a buying binge of crochet needles, thread and all accessories I thought would need to start back up. I haven't crocheted anything yet LOL but I have all the tools! There are so many instructional videos on You Tube that will help me get back into it. The symbols are so confusing to me, I only remember ch and sc. You are so talented!
Ron, how do you feel about moving closer to you son? Maybe you could visit for an extended time and see how you like it. It sounds like they really want you to be close to them.
Is David still here? Haven't seen a post.
I started this post about three hours ago but kept getting interrupted. BBL
Mint, HB, Eagle, Zetta, Iris, Beth, JeriLynn and anyone I forgot, hope you and yours are well. xo
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We're having a pretty sunny day in the PNW too. My phone tells me we've hit 60 degrees! It kind of feels like 60 degrees.
HB - I can't wait to hear what your sister's ex wore to Easter. From your description, nothing would surprise me.
Mint - We never know what burden someone else is carrying. ← This is absolutely true.
Carl - I'm sorry that you and your DW are at this point, but I think you made the right decision.
jfkoc - I know a few Muslims and Buddhists as well. I like the diversity of thought.
eaglemom - I am so glad we went to see my aunt. On Easter Sunday we stopped by her room in assisted living, and she was happily sitting in her recliner getting ready to paint. We had a really nice conversation. I'm still feeling good about it.
I'm sorry about your steaks!
Lorita - thinking of you and Charles.
Caro-Lynne - I didn't know that about your LO. I'm so sorry.
Now I'm getting ready to do my Tuesday afternoon DJ set. By request the musical genre will be psytrance. Not my favorite, but I think I put together something that people will enjoy.
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I did not know that there was a Netflix documentary re the bombing. Just finished watching it…hard.
My daughters wedding was several days later so I was not able to volunteer those first days. My husband was scheduled for a deposition across the street. Thankfully ir was canceled that morning. Our home is 8n miles from the site but we felt it.
I think that is a good idea to refresh the thread on the first of the month.
Wish we would hear from David.
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I was supposed to see my doctor today but had to reschedule to Thursday AM. I had already bumped it once, I don't remember why but probably due to a crisis with DW. With the invaluable aid of Hospice, DW is settled in a nice room at a NH. She is enjoying (I hope) oven fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, broccoli, and a dinner roll. I hadn't eaten since Cheerios and nuts and prunes at sunrise, so I went through a drive-through operated by a Cambodian family and bought some stir fry chicken and veggies with rice. I hope those people don't get deported, that man is a really good cook.
I'm pretty stressed out, but I'll be OK. Thank you all for thinking of me.
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Glad things seem to be going well, Carl. Your supper sounds really good. We used to cook a lot of oriental dishes but I haven't in a long time. Hope you can rest tonight - you know your wife is being cared for.
Thank you, Sandy,Couldn't read what it said because my phone screen is 2x3 but very pretty. Hope you're well today..
Caro Lynn, no problem. I write about my friend, Carol a lot so that is where that name came from.
Sandy is a friend I made on this thread many years ago. Sadly she isn't nearby but wish she was. She lives in Virginia, moving from Illinois but we' talk fairly often. She is still on the thread but doesn't post often.
As I thought they didn't pick up the. trash because the road looked muddy. Didn't get the food for Rusty even though it said it wss delivered. Guess I will reorder. Hadn't seen Billy today so went out to the barn to check. He was in the cowshed(just another part of the barn). He had eaten his hay so gave him some more. Wish I had some creep for him.
Transplanting just about did me in. Thinking about what I moved - it may be a Manhattan Euronymus. - sorry about the spelling. We used to have a huge one by the side of the house not far away and I think I see another small one. I hsve.bought several live plants from QVCC with not very good results but if they don't live they refund the money or resend the next year. They are all so pretty it's hard to resist. The calsdium bulbs we order from Florida Boys and they are beautful. I received mine today. Looked pretty dry but did have a little growth. I sprayed them with water. I put the lantana out on the porch today but will have to bring them and the bulbs in or Rusty might eat them..
GPs want outside so will stop for.now. Good night, sleep tight.
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Carl…thanks for the update. Hopefully you can get some much needed rest tomorrow.
Caro_lynn…I do not order from either QVC or HSN. When tempted I check out Amazon and usually find the same price and some bad reviews.
I have ordered my Caladiums from Florida Boys for several years. They ship when it is about time to plant in my zone.
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Carl, so sorry about your wife's decline. Please get some rest, knowing she is being cared for. You are a very good, supportive husband.
We got a nice rain on Easter Sunday and have several more chances for rain this week. Very thankful for the rain. It was much needed.
More tomorrow or the next day. Sleep well.
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Good evening. If I had some Gentleman Jack I would pour us up a drop.
Thinking of you Carl, Lorita and Ron.
I checked in this morning but have been busy with Speck today. And yes HB, she had bumble foot not long ago. She’s had another bath today and I’ve exercised her legs. She’s no worse but she’s not any better either. I’ve given her molasses water, fresh and dried herbs, scratch feed and dried worms and some red peppers. Found a Vet today and we are going first thing in the morning. Here she is drinking her “cocktail” and watching TV with me on the couch.
GG, I’m so glad you were able to visit your Aunt. You’ll always cherish that memory.
Well, I think I will tuck Speck into her bed, get myself a shower to wash off the chicken aroma and go to bed. I’m tired. Who knew that listening to a chicken’s lungs with a stethoscope was so difficult?
Wishing you each a restful night and a beautiful sunrise.
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Those virtual drinks sound really good. I haven't had a drink in several years, so they would probably hammer me down and I'd stumble off the porch and hurt myself. If I had someone to serve me one drink, and no more, I would enjoy drinking. This sip, sip, sip all evening isn't good for us though.
I wish I had someone to take care of me like you all do your animals. My father was discussing reincarnation with one of his friends, and the friend said he wanted to come back as a rich old lady's poodle dog, but he "wouldn't want her to hunt none." With my luck, she'd have me fixed and dye me pink to match her hair.
After things settle down I may go to the animal shelter and meet the dogs. I'd get an old dog that had outlived its human, one that liked short walks and long naps.
It's ten PM. I think I'll turn in for the night. Sleep tight.
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Judith, what is Blue Sapphire drink?
Good night.
Iris
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Good morning
I hope David is ok too.
Glad you are getting help Carl.
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Good morning! I slept like a rock and woke with the sunrise. I hadn't done that in years, it feels terrific! Thanks, Mint. I clearly need all the help I can get.
I need to take DW some of the stuff I forgot yesterday, like her toothbrush, and see how she's getting along. Later I'll take DS to lunch and get him some sox and stuff, as I had originally planned to do Monday. It's going to be sunny and 80 today, I'm going to get in some outdoors time. Maybe clean up the yard a little.
My bridal veil (spirea) is blooming, it's a beautiful day. Hope you all have a good one.
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Good morning. It's going to be a summer-like day here. I need to do a couple things around the house.
Carl— I am glad you have your DW settled. Between the SNF and hospice, she will get the care she needs and deserves, and you can focus on the emotional piece. And get yourself some quality rest.
I think a new-to-you pup makes a lot of sense. It can be hard to adjust to living alone especially if you never have before.
Judith— I mostly buy plants at the local nursery— there are a couple of landscape, tree and sod farms/wholesalers just north of me, so what I get tends to be acclimated to my specific growing conditions and very fresh. When I shop online, I usually order from White Flower Farm or Burpee. For perennials, I favor bare root as I tend to have better luck. Plus, they require less digging in my yard— so may rocks.
Gothic G— I try to get to that point of indifference rather than active loathing, but with ex-BIL it's hard. I think the sticking point is not that he's ever done anything heinous to me, but he's caused tremendous pain to people I care about. After my sister got sick, she checked out as a parent and my mom and I tag teamed as mother-surrogates for my nieces who were maybe 4 and 7. BIL refused to ever step up and be a parent or support them and was happy for free stuff and childcare. He only took them back off my parents when he realized he could get paid tohave them
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Morning, looks like a pretty day on tap, then rain tomorrow. Eagle, looks you have rain this morning. Had a call from Todd last night. He's really struggling emotionally and financially. Seems depressed about everything so will try to help him. He was Sarah's caregiver sohe couldn't work. He doesn't have transportation so I will try to.help with that. He has been picking up little jobs that helps pay bills but needs something steady to get back on his feet and a way to get to a job.
I'm concerned that we haven't b heard from David, too. Hope things are okay with him.
Glad you slept well last night, Carl. I agree with HB, a dog would be good for you. I got my two Pyrenees shortly after I lost Charles Sheena was a year old and got Stormy a month later. He was seven weeks old so Sheena raised him. I had Barclee but needed outside dogs. They, and all of you, got me through the hard times and still are. Go for it Carl, you'll be glad you did and you'll have another good friend.. Back later.
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Iris…it is Gin. I keep a bottle in the frig. I have some when with family for dinner about every 6-8 weeks. It lasts all through dinner and oft times I do not finish. I will split a can of beer with my grandson. Again, I do not always finish what was poured in the juice glass. I think the Gentleman Jack is bourbon.
Carl…a dog is a great idea. You might also contact a few vets. They alway know a person who is looking for a dog because they can't take care of one anymore. I miss having one. Our last three dogs were rescue dogs. One did have some "baggage" but workable.
Construction is booming here. I think Todd can easily find a job with a construction crew. Transportation is another matter.
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Carl, Justin's idea about the vet is great. That is.how I found both of my Pyrenees. You just would.not believe how much company and comfort they are , both dogs and cats. I am never alone and all five of them know what I say to them. Stormy can be sound asleep and if I get up out of my chair, he raises his head and watches until I sit down again.
Thanks, Judith, Todd said there are jobs around apartment complexes, too. That's how he met Sarah. She had an apartment where he was working, had a problem with something and he came to fix it. The rest is history.
Cloudy and cool here today. I'm not in the mood to do anything, and haven't. I must have slept on my left side because it hurts this morning or still sore from digging holes. I had the area where the holly was levelled but Sheena has dug holes in it again. If I do plant flowers there I will have to put wire over or around it. Fed the birds again this morning. Since I have been feeding them the last couple of years, I hear them singing early in the mornings. Tried to get some good food for Rusty but UPS did not deliver it and now it's out of stock. I.give him peanuts and sunflower seeds. Wonder if dried fruit would be okay for him? I need to stop rattling. Enjoy the day, back later.
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Lorita,
Rusty can have a little dried fruit. Just no dates or raisins.
Carl, I'm glad you had a restful night. Good sleep is essential for good health. My sleep has also improved since we went on our little get away.
Speck is perkier this morning. The Vet gave her an antibiotic injection and some vitamins. Also a dose of Meloxicam which is an anti-inflammatory medication. I am to give her a dose for the next 4 days. He also liked the molasses water and said for me to keep giving her that. He doesn't think she has any neurological deficits, just weakness and perhaps a bit of infection still from the bumble foot. It was a good visit. I liked the Vet. They see all kinds of farm animals. Saw a Mama and her new baby foal brought in while I was there. Just beautiful. And Speck was a perfect Lady. She rode in her basket in the car without complaint. I stopped by my Aunt's house (the one with dementia) and let them have a little visit.
Hoping everyone has a good day.
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OK…the bumblef ooted chicken on the couch is taking the same medicine that I take!
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Thanks, JeriLynn. I have dried bluebwrries, cherries and apricots and also prunes. Will all or any of those be okay for Rusty?. Just ordered cat soup and sunflower seeds. Zetta, Max loves that soup.
Our vet also treats all animals except skunks. Once when I was there a woman had a big wolf there probably a dog wolf mix but you could tell it was a wolf.. He has several he treats.
Glad Speck is doing better. How do you give her medicine by dropper or syringe? Think I will lay down a while. My stomach is bothering me today but a dose of Pepto has helped.
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Thanks for the info about Blue Sapphire, Judith. I tried to Google it and came up with gemstones.
The two remaining Asian elephants at our LA Zoo will be relocated to the Tulsa Zoo, for more socialization and a larger enclosure. Animal activists want them to go to an elephant sanctuary instead.
Iris
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JeriLynn that's good new about Speck; she is a pretty girl.
Carl, I agree with everyone else about getting a pet; dog or kitty. Like Lorita, I am never lonely with my two chi's and kitty here with me. They are the best company, accept me the way I am, and love me unconditionally!
I checked out Florida Boys website and wow they have beautiful caladiums! Judith and Lorita, so y9ou plant those at a certain time of year and then they die? Forgive my ignorance. I know I can google, but I prefer to learn from your experience. Thanks!
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My books about Ansel Adams have arrived via Abebooks. His auto biography begins with
"If one feels inclined to embark on a journey into memory, after 82 years the experience promises to be kaleidoscopic and perhaps, willfully colored…Perhaps it would be too shattering to recall everything exactly, not because it was necessarily bad, but because it could reveal opportunities missed and errors made"
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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