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His Birthday is Today

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CampCarol
CampCarol Member Posts: 222
250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
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in Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone

My husband just passed on June 19, and today is his birthday. While there is never a good time to go, this is just too close for me. I am struggling in every way. How does one get through these important dates? I know the first year will be the worst, but this is beyond awful. People are calling & texting, and I'm hiding not answering anything. I am sitting here alone, and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. :-(

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  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 199
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
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    So many hugs….

  • Joyful Heart
    Joyful Heart Member Posts: 7
    5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    I can't even imagine, friend! Truly! Hold onto every moment of lucidness because you've just been dealt an unbelievably brutal hand. Breathe deep. Know that your husband is in a much better place. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

  • JulietteBee
    JulietteBee Member Posts: 118
    100 Comments 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73525/his-birthday-is-today

    There is nothing you SHOULD BE doing. You are on a grief journey. While we know when it starts, we have no clue when it ends. There is no timeline. There is no to-do list. After what seems like a magical amount of time has passed, you will feel yourself smile again. You will hear yourself talking on the phone again. When your heart and mind are ready, you will even find love and friendships. Do not rush the process and do not suppress the process. Feel all the feelings. Let the tears wash your soul and then one day, you will realize that you came through th3 dark tunnel, successfully.🫂

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,803
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member

    so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband last August. His birthday was June 13. You don’t have to do anything. Just grieve. I was expecting the mental grief but didn’t expect the physical feeling of grief. The feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see something that reminds me of him. My wise Mom once told me when you lose someone you love to do things that honor their memory.. On his Birthday and Fathers Day weekend my daughter and I took flowers to the cemetery. I also made a list of things to do to honor him. When I feel strong enough I do one and check it off my list. As someone posted of my Facebook page “Grief is the price we pay for love” so true. Recently I listened to Garth Brooks song “The Dance” and although I cried it helped. Sending love and hugs. 💜

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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