Tired of putting my life on hold

If you polled every member here, we would all say, at least once on this journey, "What about me? What about my needs?" The saying, "If you've met one person with dementia, you've met one person with dementia" applies to caregivers as well. None of us follow the same care giving path to the end. Everyone needs to be safe - you, your husband, and those around you. Learn your options through the Alzheimers association and with assistance of a health care team, even if only you seek health care. Help is available for you and your spouse.

Hello. I am new here. Your post took the words right out of my mouth. My situation is eerily identical.

Your post resonated with me. I am living with the same. This is what I know. This man is the love of my life, my best friend. If tables were turned, he would care for me until the end. The man I love is still inside. He did not ask for this. He apologizes at times for his anger and tells me that it isn’t directed at me. He’s early stage. I know later the apology will never come. Remember the man you fell in love with and built a life with. Take walks, meditate, exercise, do yoga, find a good therapist who you can yell, scream, and cry to. Ask friends and family for help. Talk to his doctors about medication to calm him down. We can’t leave. They are depending on us as a child would for every basic need. If I was there, I would hug you. We all need that. ♥️

What I’m slowly figuring out and have read here several times is that a PWD will reflect you. My DH does. If I’m mad, he’s mad. If I smile, he smiles. He has his own emotions, but will most often reflect strong emotions from me. I could slap myself when it’s a negative one. I quickly change the channel to something happier when that happens. He catches my vibes very well, so I try very hard to keep things calm and him happy. I get better cooperation that way. I’m like trottingalong, I love my husband too. Heartbroken over what he’s going through.

I get where you’re coming from. For me the group supports didn’t work for me. My DH family “left the building” long ago. The stress is affecting my health. I do have respite care coming in each week so I can have a break. The disease has robbed my DH of his compassion and he’s become very demanding. No one should judge another care person for how they feel or how much they can handle. Many days I feel the same as you. 🤗