I wonder if I am seeing things not there

It’s all so very normal and confusing. The brain is an amazing organ. So much my husband cannot remember or comprehend during different times of the day. Then he seems normal and clear headed and then…not. Now that the forgetfulness has become more the norm, I question myself less.

I am so sorry to say that I can totally relate.

I have cameras set up in my mom's IL apartment. I "drop-in" throughout the day if I'm not able to stop and make a call to her.

Most times, she is overheard on the phone talking with friends. She sounds so absolutely lucid, even asking them questions such as "How did it go at the event you were going to?" "How was work? Did you talk to your boss about x,y,z?" Etc.

I am often left dumbfounded as to how lucid she is and how she remembers details of their previous conversations to follow up on.

For me, she can't remember her doctor's appt is not this week, but next. She can't remember I had to take the dog to the vet for a surgical follow up.

It often causes me to wonder if I am the one with a problem. Sometimes, it annoys me as I wonder if she is being difficult, just because she can be.

At her apartment, she is able to introduce the staff and residents to me, by name. Shortly thereafter,, she can't remember I just answered the same question three times in the past 10 mins.

💔

I find this thread very interesting because I have experienced this situation with family members. Often family would come to visit my dear wife, having heard the status of her condition and cautioned about what they might experience. Frequently following their visit they would either share with me or with others how they were surprised and that my dear wife seemed fine or "normal" and they did not understand why I thought she was ill or had worsened. This happened often. I understood why they felt as they did and how it can happen, having seen it before. Their comments did not concern me but it is frustrating that they are not calibrated with the reality because my dear wife could "perform" during their visit, collapsing immediately after. As time passed and her condition worsened, she was less able to "perform" and the relatives saw a more accurate status. This, however, was alarming to the because they assumed she had taken a dramatic and sudden change for the worse. That was not the case, they were just seeing her when she had the strength and faculties to engage versus her normal behaviors. This can be disturbing for one who is not confident of the status of their loved one and if they are doing what they should. I questioned myself every day if I did the "right" thing for her that day. Others questioning if we have assessed the condition correctly or have we gone too far can make someone further question themself. I think it is important for those caring for a loved one to direct others, family more especially, to a resource such as this to learn how this difference can happen and be expected. We question ourselves constantly, since there is no simple playbook to follow. Having others question if we are off base can be too much. I encouraged all of my family and close friends to signup here and learn about the reality of this condition. Ask questions, search for posting related to whatever it is your are questioning. It can be helpful to all.