Should I move my mom?


Comments
-
Welcome. I would be very very mad. My experience with assisted living is that they are very much just a bit of assistance. There is an expectation of a certain level of independence. Did they expect her to contact you. I’m surprised the hospital didn’t call. If their communication and organization is that messed up what kind of issues will you run into next. I would also be concerned about their laid back unconcerned approach. My moms Al didn’t even bother to make sure she took her medication. They would sometimes leave it on the counter in her room while she was playing bingo. Could it be that she may need a higher level of care? We moved mom to a nursing home and I expected her to go down hill. I have been surprised at how well she is doing. I think the trained, experienced staff make a huge difference.
0 -
Poster did say she was in a MC unit. I have never heard of a facility sending an aid with someone who is going to the ER. I actually would question more why they sent her to the hospital without your express permission. Have you had her evaluated by hospice? I think I would have a discussion with the management + make sure they are fully aware of your expections + make sure they have a way of contacting you(text?) that you see immediately. I would keep an eye on things for awhile before I would consider a move. JMO
3 -
I think I would have very frank and clear conversations with the mgmt staff and a specific plan for reaching you. Moving is so difficult, I would put them on notice and let them know you are very serious.
2 -
Thank you.
0 -
A few months after I moved my dh to memory care this happened to me. I got the message a little sooner than you did, and met him in the ER, but it was the same story. In his case, they had shipped him out for a pre-existing condition he already had medication ordered for, but they forgot.
Unless someone is on hospice, they will always send to the hospital whenever they feel like it because it was "an emergency and they couldn't get hold of you." I wouldn't move her because of this because any facility may do it. I was very firm with my facility and they haven't done it again, but of course the time, stress and $$ of the hospital is 100% on the family.
1 -
I do not know of a single assisted living, memory care, or even skilled nursing facility, that will send an aide with a resident to the hospital. They simply do not have the staff. I did hear once that an extremely expensive CCRC here, that has their own home health company, let you pay extra for a program that would send an aide to sit in the hospital, but it would take several hours for them to arrange it.
Communication, whether staff to staff or staff to family, was sometimes a problem no matter where we were. In our second facility, we were not notified when LO was sent to hospital. They said we had not provided an emergency contact when we filled out the paperwork. It was not worth arguing about. We just made sure that it would not happen again.
Here, they left you a message. They might have a policy about what they can say in a text or voice mail. The person who left you the message was not the one you spoke to later and she probably had no idea what the first person had said. It is possible that the shift had changed. Do impress upon them that this cannot happen again.
It leaves you with a horrible feeling when bad things happen and you cannot make everything perfect, I know. I wish you peace.
2 -
I'm now in a similar situation and am considering moving facilities. Too many runs in the stockings as you would say.
1 - I received a call from their Wellness director asking if I knew Dad was out of his med packs. ( I place his meds in pods separated day and Night for the entire month. He hadn't been given meds in 3 days!
2 - He went "missing" and I was called 2 hours after the fact. I pulled up to thef acility and it was swarmed with Police and an ambulance. The Director had just arrived as they had called him before they called me.
3 - Phone call @ 7:15 am informing me that Dad again was out of his meds. I had just filled them. They couldn't locate them and he hadn't been given any for 2 days. They are in a lock box in his room and only myself and staff have a key.
4 - Final straw?? A neghbor resident of Dad's passed away leaving his 14 year old Yorkie. The dog was not well cared for and wasn't even housebroken. His hygiene was neglected and he smelled so bad that even out doors, his odor was highly noticable. His nails weren't clipped which made his walk nealy impossible. His family offerd the dog up to Dad without hesitation and told him it would be temporary. No contact info was given to me at all. How do you give your Dog to an individual who already has a dog that's cared for by me? I had to take over caring for his dog because he couldn't. How do you do that? The facility didn't even have any contact info or even any informatiomn of this "transaction".I'm afraid of what he's going to do when they come to pick the dog up this week.
So, I do understand. Keep notes. I've brought in helpers for Dad. His VA benefits cover so many hours. It's been a Godsend. Mean while, I'm looking.
0 -
OMG. This is some next-level poor care.
0
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more
Categories
- All Categories
- 563 Living With Alzheimer's or Dementia
- 296 I Am Living With Alzheimer's or Other Dementia
- 267 I Am Living With Younger Onset Alzheimer's
- 16.5K Supporting Someone Living with Dementia
- 5.5K I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)
- 8K Caring For a Spouse or Partner
- 2.6K Caring for a Parent
- 215 Caring Long Distance
- 133 Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone
- 17 Discusiones en Español
- 5 Vivir con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- 4 Vivo con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- 1 Vivo con Alzheimer de Inicio Más Joven
- 12 Prestación de Cuidado
- 3 Soy Cuidador (Temas Generales)
- 8 Cuidar de un Padre
- 23 ALZConnected Resources
- View Discussions For People Living with Dementia
- View Discussions for Caregivers
- Discusiones en Español
- Browse All Discussions
- Dementia Resources
- 8 Account Assistance
- 15 Help