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Don't treat them like they know...

persevere
persevere Member Posts: 350
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edited February 1 in Caring for a Parent

So, it's been a long journey. DW is fully in the stage 6/7 range. We have hospice. I have known for a very long time that she goes in and out of knowing who I am. Like someone once said, they know who you are but they don't know who you are. But I think up until now my way of handling her in troubled times is in a way that I still treat her as if she knows who I am. I think that does not help when I'm trying to calm her down because I have this expectation that she knows who i am. I have to step back and just pretend to be a nice caregiver. Perhaps I've been doing that in some instances but I don't know why it's just hitting me now. I have to drop any pretense that she knows who I am so that I can address it more effectively. Is this making sense? Not all the time but you can tell when they are fully zoned out.

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  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,421
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    yes it makes sense. Some caregivers leave the room and come back and introduce themselves. Some even change clothes. Some suggested pictures of you two around the room so she can see them. When I would visit my DH in memory care he thought my daughter was me. So I would go in first and introduce myself. I would say “Hi honey, it’s me, your wife Diane. Then my daughter would come in and do the same. It seemed to help.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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