Wants me near always

I’m glad that things went smoothly when you took him to MC and that he had already asked the staff for assistance.
I hope your anxiety eases during the coming week. As Diane suggested in her post above, remember you did this FOR him not TO him. Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending hugs.

My husband is always looking for me. He is still home and I plan on keeping him home for now. He is stage 4/5. If I go out in the yard and gets very anxious saying he can’t find me, if I am taking a shower he is calling me. I always tell him what I am doing but he can’t remember anything. Does anyone else experience this with their loved one?

I've cared for SEVERAL dementia patients and am now with my mother, and the hardest is when they first begin getting it and you can't find ACCURATE answers. What you are speaking about is normal in the beginning, but you need a proper diagnosis for type of dementia. Our physician gave mom a drug for sleep and her schedule is VERY SET. She takes it at 4 or 5 and out by 7. She and others I've fully cared for MUST HAVE A SET SCHEDULE. They must have everything done for them at the beginning to remain home, like set TV remotes, heat and air set and fixed where they leave it alone, fire alarms checked regularly for no low battery chirp, meals without having to heat, regular cleaning and sheet changes, etc. Mom calls EVERY MORNING and I MUST ANSWER or she calls repeatedly unless you do the anxiety is so bad. They are terrified they are losing their mind and alone. They seek the comfort of home because they lose SHORT TERM MEMORY FIRST, THEN LONG TERM. So, home is a recognizable place, and a new location they become completely confused unable to remember due to it being a short term memory process to remember a new place, which is why they show up at places they haven't been to in 20 years thinking it's still their doctor's office or home! They have the long term memories they built when they were younger as all the newer memories go away. Our doctor gave several drugs and we had to trial and error because she went nuts on some, but others helped. YOU MUST DO THE WORK OR RESEARCH AND READING THE BEGINNING, MIDDLE, AND END OF VERY SUBTLE SYMPTOM RECOGNITION LISTS and writings. Had I not learned through the first person I helped and done that process Id of NEVER known she was getting it and she signed a POA to people that she met ONCE AT CHURCH that are PROFESSIONALS THAT LOOK FOR ALONE DEMENTIA PATIENTS TO PREY UPON. They sold her home and depleted her account of over $80,000 in a week!!! Laws to protect dementia patients when they FIRST get suble symptoms MUST CHANGE to protect them when they STILL HAVE MOST OF their memory and can pay bills, yet the other symptoms like hours they forget cause them such fear and anxiety they sign ANYTHING OR BEFRIEND ANYBODY to take care of them out of a promise to not be put in a home. Sadly, ALL of the people we put in SUPER UPSCALE nice facilities became EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE, ANGRY, VIOLENT, HURT, and DIED NOT LONG AFTER being put there. It was not the disease progression, but I believe the stress and fear of being taken from the only place they remember, home. If I had of known this when I was younger Id of been able to plan to save for a 24 hour dementia care person, but the cost is so prohibitive now it was impossible in every case. Others could have gotten a reverse mortgage to pay for it but greedy family want to inherit her home, and once they get the dementia diagnosis it's illegal to sign a contract to sell or reverse mortgage without a POA. Or the POF for finances. There are several POA types giving different permissions. The anxiety and calling a hundred times is better with mods and just answering and comforting them and telling them not to call unless they really need something and they call less throughout the day. But, it's out of fear you'll get angry and not care for them, sadly. They are just fearful of absolutely EVERYTHING. Mom calls every five min to ask if the groceries are there waiting on Door Dash! I assure her and just answer if she calls, which becomes overwhelming and agitating to OUR LIVES and disrupts OUR SCHEDULES. But, when you see how rapidly they go at the end with memory and death you would want all the time to talk back again. It's SO DIFFICULT, but just BE PATIENT, GET HELP, GET SELFCARE DAYS, TAKE BREAKS AWAY FROM THEM WITH HIRING HELP, UTILIZE AN ATTORNEY SPECIALIZING IN PROTECTING ASSETS AND GETTING GOVERNMENT SUPPORT SERVICES THAT PAY EVERYTHING. You must wait a year for some services, like home help care people, and such, but it's WORTH USING AN ATTORNEY FOR UNFORSEEN FINANCIAL BURDENS AND TO NAVIGATE HEALTHCARE OPTIONS. READ, READ, READ, BLOGS, AND PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL SITES ON SYMPTOMS AND PEOPLE'S IDEAS THAT HELP WITH LITTLE THINGS LIKE THE TV REMOTES, AND TAKE THEIR CAR KEYS AWAY AT THE BEGINNING OF THEIR SYMPTOMS AS THEY FIGHT THAT BIG TIME!!! GOOD LUCK. PRAYING FOR YOU ALL. PRAY FOR A CURE FOR DEMENTIA!!!

Bowerbird may I ask what type of facility it is; corporate owned? Name of facility? Staffing levels? My failed attempt at placement last year they had promised someone to be with him the whole first day and that did not happen; they didn't even have a person come sit with him until I'd been there an hour or more. They didn't attempt to sit him next to people who were cognitively aware—just plopped him at a table with several women with drooping heads and no eye contact. This was a highly recommended facility. Now I'm looking again everywhere in Tucson, but….