Dressing and Laundry

Hi @jimorrison Welcome. Glad you found us, yet sorry you found yourself here. This terrible disease is a marathon, not a sprint. So best advice is to go slowly and ease into things.

I’ve been helping my DH with dressing and grooming for the past year. If I remember correctly we eased into my taking over this task one step at a time. At first it was removing one or two of those layers, then it evolved into me putting his ‘clothes for the day’ out for him. Later I found myself really cleaning out his closet so his choices were limited.

I have learned that DH is cold natured, so he does best with layers. I also bought him shirts with zippers rather than buttons or pull-on shirts. I let him do as much as he is able, but often shirts go on backwards or inside out so I have to help in that regard. We have a few lightweight hoodies that he can layer on in the summer, plus heavier sweaters for colder weather.

For your DW - maybe pull-on pants with elastic waists would work. Perhaps edit her wardrobe to a few dresses, some pants, blouses/sweaters, a few pairs of shoes so her choices are limited. Same for jewelry and don’t sweat if that doesn’t match. Get everything else out of the house, perhaps when she takes a nap.

As for the laundry - maybe someone has ideas. My DH will wear the same clothes for days if I don’t make him change! I have heard that folding the clean laundry can be a task that many PWDs enjoy doing.

Best of luck to you!

Welcome. Would it help if you simplified her wardrobe? Make sure things easily mix and match. No matter what shirt she picks it will match any pair of pants. If button up blouses are difficult I would get rid of them. Pull on pants are easy. I would get rid of holiday clothes or just pull them out of storage when appropriate. If she would notice these changes to her wardrobe, you may need to adjust it gradually. I can understand if you go out these things may be embarrassing, but if you’re in your home, does it matter? If she does wear a blouse that doesn’t match could you suggest a different blouse (that matches) by telling her how pretty she looks in this other color? As far as dirty clothes, you probably need to keep an eye on what she is wearing daily, then go on a scavenger hunt for the dirty clothes at the end of each day. Maybe keep her dirty laundry in a spare room until you have a chance to wash it (so she doesn’t pull it out a wear it before it’s washed). I hope you find a solution.

My DW stopped wearing pajamas several months ago. She sleeps in her clothes that she has on and usually on top of the covers. Lately she has stopped taking showers or changing clothes. I can usually coax her into the shower every 4-5 day in the afternoon and getting in with her to bathe her and wash her hair. She then gets into new clothes with my help. If there is a bright spot here, I don’t have to do laundry every day. 😂 Hang in there and just let your DW wear what she wants as long as it is safe.

You have reminded me…

We were going to a wedding weekend out of town. I made certain that clothe for the events were carefully packed separately. When asked if he wanted any help packing my husband answered "no".

The next morning in Farmington NM my husband exited his shower and asked where his underwear was. Seems all he packed were books!

Same. My DH wears the same clothes everyday. Sometimes two or three shirts. Coat and gloves are on all day along with his beanie. I don't worry about it too much but I make him take off his street clothes before bed. He is somewhat compliant. He will take off his street clothes but then sneak his shirt back on. I just let it go. He hides all his clothes in a corner of our bedroom and covers them up. I think he is afraid someone will take his stuff. I don't really have a solution I just pick my battles.

Yes the clothing issue is difficult. My DH will wear the same clothes day after day, layering 3 shirts and 2 pairs of underwear, even sleeping in them, if I am not successful in getting him to change. I am still somewhat successful but not always.
And he is loathe to put his worn clothes into the hamper; folding them and putting them back in his dresser. I have to retrieve them later for washing. He claims if he puts the worn clothes into his hamper he will never see them again 😂🤣 cuz they will be stolen !!
So I don’t fuss about how he dresses in the house, just trying to keep the peace. But I do have to watch carefully how he dresses himself when we go out.
When we got to our daughters house for thanksgiving dinner last November, I looked down at his feet and saw he was wearing TWO LEFT SHOES !! Haha not too much surprises me these days !!

My DW is also vision impaired so I must choose her clothing and help her dress daily. She sometimes can dress herself but sometimes she puts jeans and or blouses on backwards. Yes, I have to manage dirty clothes also. We do take showers together on a regular basis as she is pretty unsteady at times. Hang in there. You are not alone.