New Here - Spouse with Young Onset

Hi all,

I'm new here. My wife was formally diagnosed at the ripe young age of 51 this past December. I, myself, am her 34 year old wife. I just wanted to come in here and say hi and kind of vent to folks who may know. These past 2 years of confusion and emotional and financial upheaval have been incredibly difficult to manage.

As I think a lot of early onset diagnoses do, we thought her memory and slight confusion was burnt out or stress - she's a career Xray Tech and has some PTSD from the early days of COVID. We moved across the country, thinking maybe a fresh start would help her burnout, but no luck. And it just got worse.

From August 2024 - August 2025 she tried to start 5 different Xray jobs. We thought it wasn't working because of stress or the people or she didn't like being in a clinic. But it really became apparent when she was getting lost in the parking lots and I was having to guide her on Life 360. The employers just told her she wasn't a good fit, that she couldn't learn the computer. (I know her for being computer illiterate and she worked on the same ancient hospital system for 13 years before we moved, so that seemed totally real to me). She lasted about 3 - 6 weeks at each different place of work.

She's so young, YOAD was the last thing we thought.

The worst part is how low and lonely she is. I can't stand watching it, she is miserable. My scrappy, funny, confident, take down anyone who crosses a loved one wife now lives in constant fear and loneliness. She never cried ever before. She weeps everyday now. We moved in 2024 and she hasn't been able to find any connections. She's home alone and I work from home when I can but I can only do that rarely.

I keep trying to find places for her to volunteer, but she's terrified that she will get lost - she hasn't gotten lost in 10 months and is still able to drive.

She got a job at a major grocery store before she was diagnosed - she was there for a few weeks during the holiday. She kept asking for her schedule and no one was helpful. She missed a shift and they said they didn't need her anymore and they had to part ways. It was heartbreaking - that job gave her purpose, even if she was only making minimum wage.

My LO used to be the breadwinner, we were going to move, have 2 steady streams of income for the first time, try to start having children and save for a house.

Now we've run out of credit, ran through all of our savings, are looking at bankruptcy, got a energy shut off notice and who knows what else. I have looked into public help but it is so slow.

We are currently navigating getting approved for SSDI while starting Donanemab on 3/5.

We do have an excellent care team in Boston - they have been really incredible, so that's something.

I'm just so sad and defeated and scared. I want to live our lives to the fullest but it seems so hard.

I'm really here seeking advice on how to help her live, while I don't lose my young life doing so.