Long Term Care

On March 12 my DH was admitted to long term care and it was the hardest thing I've done. On the second day I was ready to bring him home. When I arrived at breakfast time, he was sitting with full glasses of juice and water, a cup of hot chocolate and a plate of food that he didn't know what to do with. I lost it. I called the kids and told them I had made a terrible mistake. I realize now that it takes time for staff to understand limitations and capabilities of each resident. But now, three weeks later, I am still feeling frustrated. There are 15 residents on his ward, many are wheelchair bound, dementia, stroke victims. I feel as though he is expected to do more since he still walks unassisted (tho he is getting more unsteady) and he is younger than the others in his ward by 10-15 years. I spend most of my day with him. The way I see it, I would be 24/7 if he was still at home. I believe the aides are learning what his needs are and beginning to understand what he simply cannot do, but I feel drained. I keep telling them that they need to think of a 2 year old when they are dealing with him. I have brought him home for afternoon visits this past week and I realize I am not qualified to care for him at home now. I am so incredibly sad and feel such guilt. He, on the other hand, does not recognize home and has actually said that he should get going back. I know he doesn't recognize the care facility either but it makes it easier to return him to their care. Such heartache. I feel for all of you who are going through this and those who await the next phase. Stay strong fellow caregivers.