In memory care and taking hubby out

I agree with SDianeL. I don't take my mom out for the same reasons. Many people with dementia say they want to "go home" even when they're sitting in the home they've lived in for 50 years. With dementia, "home" represents a place in their mind in the past where everything still made sense rather than a physical place.

One of the things I do to distract mom when she's unhappy is to show her old family pictures. She always loves looking at them, and sometimes they prompt her to tell me interesting stories. Occasionally she'll remark on the household decor in the pictures, saying how pretty it is. I agree with her, but I refrain from telling her it was her own house where she lived for decades.

Mom has been in MC for 8 months. She is doing better physically and cognitively than she was at home with 24/7 caregivers. She doesn't really ask to go home anymore, but instead asks me to drive her by her house. I'll say "Yes, but not today, because I'm on my way to a doctor's appointment/it's raining/etc. We'll do it next time." The positive response of "Yes, but…" is always better received than "No, because…".

I do let my wife know when I am leaving from her MC but I tell her I have to go do some work or take care of the dog or anything but I will be back so I will see you later. That works for her. She does still sometimes say that she will get her stuff so we can go but I tell her that she still needs a little more therapy and should be able to leave in a few days (she moved straight from the hospital after a stroke to MC so I tell her that is why she is there for a while). I have taken her out for lunch or ice cream before and it went OK, but each time I was worried about how she may react. I think that maybe her having limited use of her left arm as a reminder that she did have a stroke may make some of this a little easier for me.