Not liking me or DH much these days

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can commiserate with you about the exaustion. It's so hard when you try to do everything the way you think you're supposed to, sometimes I want to throw up my hands and say "I'm outta here". When I get that way, I try really hard to recircle, take a breath and start over again. It doesn't always work, sometimes I just hide away in another room, cry just to get a release and then start again. Know that the people on these message boards totally understand your feelings. I don't have a solution for those times when you feel like you hit the wall, I hope to keep learning as time goes on and reach out to these boards when I'm at the end of my rope.

It’s a long hard journey indeed. I remember a period a few years ago where I thought my DH was going to drive me crazy. He was yelling all night long, every hour, every 20 minutes, every whenever. It was beyond horrible. Now I think back to how mad I was with him during that time and it makes me sad. I didn’t know any better what was going on. I acted in ways I can’t take back. Yelling, having a fit, crying. His neurologist suggested Seroquel, and shortly after that, Zoloft. Those two pills helped both of us and helped me be a better caregiver. Now the house is relatively quiet and he is easier to care for. But he’s also hardly present as he’s sleeping 18 + hrs a day. I almost want to go back to the crazier days so I have more time with him. It’s heartbreaking. It kills me to see him go like this, he was such a wonderful man.

Dear JC5, first of all, a big hug sent to you. I know this is hard. This is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do. Being a caregiver takes a toll on us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Is there some way you could get a few days off? It sounds like a little respite care might be helpful for you. And medication. Is your DH on any medication for anxiety? If not, you might want to talk to his doctor about adding some. It can be a big help. Have you called your Area Agency on Aging? They might be able to offer you some respite hours and also a shower aide. I know the shower aide was so helpful. He would take a shower for her when he wouldn't for me. Have you read the 36 Hour Day book? If not, it can be very helpful. About his wanting to eat sweets. That seems to go with the disease. You could try adding a little touch of sweet to his mashed potatoes or give him graham crackers with peanut butter. Sometimes finger foods work well as they can pick them up and they are easy to eat. Last of all, please take care of yourself as best you can. You are important too. Rest when you can and try to find some joy in each day. Come to this forum often for support. Here's another big hug to start your day.

Brenda