Bathroom accidents

mcboschi08 · April 24

Hi everyone. My mother is the primary caregiver for my father, who has Alzheimer’s that has been progressing quickly. We need some advice.

Over the past few months, he has started having significant difficulties with toileting hygiene. He’ll use the bathroom but is no longer able to complete the wiping process — usually not using toilet paper at all. This results in fecal matter ending up on surfaces throughout the bathroom (sink, counters, etc.) and occasionally in other rooms even. It has become very distressing and difficult for my mother to manage, both physically and emotionally.
Has anyone dealt with this stage and found strategies that helped?

terei · April 24

This is a primary reason for LOs to be placed in MC. Someone being with him every time he is in the bathroom and helping him is the only thing that will help curb these problems

starwood · April 24

I agree with terel. As hard as it is, being in the bathroom and offering to assist is the only way to manage. My DH, who is wheelchair bound, will still occasionally try to wipe, and I have to remind him that I will help him get clean. After having a major bathroom cleanup this morning, I understand how difficult it is. And yes, it does sometimes lead to MC placement if the caregiver just can’t manage.

debriesea · April 24

Incontinence issues is one of the reasons I plan on putting my DH in memory care. Although his cognitive level is very low, he is still able to take himself to the bathroom and decently wipe.
He can still feed himself. But showering, changing his clothes, brushing his teeth—not so much. These I can tolerate for now.
Another reason I’d consider MC is when it is taking a big toll on my emotional & physical health, which I am dependent on my family and friends to help me recognize when it comes to this.

jgreen · April 24

Hi @mcboschi08

If your Mom is up for it, I recommend you contact hospice and request an assessment. With dementia, they will come in much earlier than the ‘6months or less to live’ idea that everyone believes. Dementia puts a huge strain on the caregiver and Hospice (or palliative care) is there to help with resources, tips, and education to ease some of that burden. Plus staff check in with the caregiver and patient regularly. Incontinence is one of the things that may qualify your Dad for their services. It does not hurt (or cost anything) to request an assessment.

So good of you to be supportive of your Mom.

Timmyd · April 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/75888/bathroom-accidents

When DW started having similar issues this is what worked for me. I pay attention to each bathroom visit. I basically have to wait nearby while she is on the toilet. If she had BM, I immediately offer her a flushable wipe. Sometimes she will take it and use it. If not, I swoop in and do the wipe myself. Neither of us enjoy this, but it is over pretty quickly and fortunately her anger with the circumstances does not last very long.

Maru · April 26

During Covid and the great toilet paper shortage, we installed handheld bidet sprayers on all the toilets so DH is accustomed to a spray after a BM. If you don't have such a device (very easy to install) you can just keep a small bucket of water near the toilet and pour water until clean. After a good wash, you only need to dry the area. Not sure how this would work on someone who isn't already accustomed to this, but worth a try. So not looking forward to that stage.

White Crane · April 26

You've gotten some good advice. If you haven't already, invest in a box of disposable gloves for your mother. Some adult wipes will also be needed. They are larger than the baby wipes. For messes on surfaces or the floor, shaving cream makes it easier to remove feces from these surfaces. I'm sorry your mother is having to deal with this.

Bathroom accidents

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