What is happening?
This is just an observation and a feeling, but since my DH passed 4 months ago, I have heard from at least five people, all women, some of whom I know quite well, telling me their husbands are having cognitive issues or have dementia. It’s very unnerving and seems like it’s becoming all too common. What is going on? It’s scary to think of the numbers, then multiply that by the number of caregivers it affects. And what of me or others in my situation, now a widow with no children. How do we plan for a possible dementia diagnosis in the future?
This is just a vent…I was on the phone last night with a very good friend who was the latest one to tell me her husband is showing signs of dementia. Thanks for listening.
Comments
-
I notice it too in the number of early onset cases coming forward.
1 -
We (my daughters and I) didn’t notice any cognitive decline in DH til he was 78-79 yrs old. So age appears to be a factor in some cases.
I don’t know what explains early onset, which is the cruelest form of this disease.2 -
I agree. Early onset is extra cruel. My DH was in his 70’s when it started.
2 -
I still can be in public (like a store or a park) and quite obviously see the signs of dementia on someone's face - and know they and their family aren't even aware yet. It's a particular kind of blankness, one I now can see in photos of my mother about 10 years prior to her diagnosis.
8 -
So interesting I find myself seeing it in others as well. Can't be sure but the thought has occurred to me.
5 -
Scientists have been telling us for sometime that the number of people with dementia would greatly increase. Basically it’s due to the baby boomer generation having reached the age when it becomes apparent. You have to remember that we were the largest generation because WWII kept the birth numbers down.
Now add to that the fact that better medical care has allowed us to live longer- so that we live long enough for dementia to become apparent.7 -
Yes-I remember when my mom had reached 85 and we all thought she was free and clear of anything other than old age catching up with her.
Diagnosed at 90.
I can definitely see that 'vagueness' out in public & think ''Uh-oh, dementia''.
5 -
One of my best friend's husband is now in early stages. She and I both have spouses diagnosed with early onset. Two of my best friend's mothers have just been diagnosed. It's been a little overwhelming to see it all around my friend group. I do think we've hit the age where these things are happening with our parents, if they're still with us.
I have no idea how I'll deal with my own aging. I don't have children and have a very small family (just 4 of use total). I can't even imagine that now, just 3 months from my DW passing.
6 -
@annie51
I'm sorry your social circle is dealing with this.
I think the increase you're seeing is multifactorial. Partly it's the combination of longer lifespans and the increased risk of dementia with age. At 85+ over a third of individuals have clinical Alzheimer's which doesn't include other forms of dementia. At this point in time, the sheer size of the generations likely to be impacted by the diagnosis is much bigger than previous age cohorts.
I think another piece is that in generations past, the symptoms of dementia were written off by families as normal aging. I recall my DH claiming there was no dementia in his family and then describing his maternal grandfather's mood changes, erratic behavior and need for my MIL to obtain guardianship after some disastrous decisions. But, yeah, no dementia there.
I think the stigma is less than it was. People, in general, are more open and pragmatic about all manner of conditions— cancer, mental illness, developmental differences and dementia— than in previous generations. It could be the people who shared with you only did so because they know you get it.
Some papers I've seen have been hopeful around future outcomes. Specifically, better preventative medical care around things like BP and the protection more education seems to provide may reduce rates in time.
HB5 -
In past generations, people died of heart disease and cancer in their 40's - 60's. Advancements in medicine have extended lifespans so that maybe the brain is now the most vulnerable organ with respect to longevity? I also have noticed that besides my DW with dementia symptoms, we both have multiple senior friends who are also currently dealing with various levels of memory/ cognitive impairment. Yet another indicator that "we are living in interesting times"….I miss the good old boring normal times…..
3 -
PS: I think there is still a HUGE stigma attached to dementia/ AD. I sometimes wonder if if that plays some subconscious role in my DW's anosognosia? When I've made the mistake of lovingly confronting her about my concerns about her memory loss and changes in her behavior, she accuses me of calling her "crazy"/ "mentally ill" and takes it as criticism/ judgement even when I tell her it is not her choice or fault. If I had her symptoms and was aware of them (no anosognosia), it would be absolutely devastating/ frightening to my self esteem and sense of security/ control/ well being. Could anosognosia = a survival self-defense coping mechanism by the brain????
3 -
The statistic I have run across multiple times is that 1 in 10 people over 65 have some form of dementia. It is a very common condition. Hopefully we all get a lot better being comfortable around it and treating those affected with patience and compassion.
3 -
Dementia in the elderly has been common for a long time. Many of the people I have researched doing genealogy had dementia written as cause of death. I suspect that research will eventually prove that bad diet and all the additives they put in food as being a contributing factor in EO AL. Research is already showing a gut-brain connection. Good to know but that doesn't help those who are now trapped in EO. So very grateful that that wasn't the case with my DH.
1 -
Off subject but it may be relevant: I spoke with an oncologist recently who told me that, except for lymphoma, the incidence of ALL cancers in the population has been increasing and they don’t know why, but that they suspect it is the microplastic particles in our water and food.
2 -
Thank you all for your comments. I’ve read things about risk factors like obesity and diabetes, and also better detection and awareness maybe contributing to the rise in EO. I would also believe that microplastics are causing issues that we are not fully aware of.
3 -
Anosognosia is thought by some as being a consequence of not being able to remember and use new information. It's possible that denial is a factor too.
3 -
I think many of the observations and thoughts above describe much of what is going on nowadays versus the past. A little story about my DW, lost nine months ago to this horrible disease. Prior to her diagnosis we had purchased a new white car in about 2017. Her car previously was red. Now, white cars were (and maybe still are) one of the most popular colors for cars. As we drove around she insisted that a change had occurred and that there were far more white cars being made than ever before. I knew she had signs of concern then of her mind slipping a bit but did not know the significance or magnitude to come. There were no more white cars than before but she would count them as we drove to prove her point. Maybe the similarity is there in that we now see this disease more because of our experience and because of our experience we read more about it, people tell us every time they hear of another case, and it has come out of the shadows of hidden in mental hospitals, etc., etc. Sadly, it is also likely that the real number has always been much higher than spoken about but now being reported.
5 -
@howhale
She wasn't wrong. There are more white cars on the road now than, say, when she was a new driver in the late 60s or early 70s.Raw data: The popularity of white cars – Kevin Drum
A friend of DH's who developed coatings said white was popular for a lot of reasons. White is favorable in terms of cost and durability. In terms of aesthetics, white doesn't become "dated" in the way something like "Grabber Orange" or "Sauterne Gold Metallic" which is important to people who hold onto their vehicles as the leasing companies who resell those driven by folks who don't.
2 -
Funny thing about white automobiles as my DW with EOAD diagnosed 3 years ago, has fixated on only white trucks. She will point out each white truck as we drive by them. If we are in a parking lot she runs up to the truck to look at it. And every time whether driving by or walking past, she tells me she wants one. 🤔
2 -
Yes, I can do that too. I only have to look at someone's face and behavior to diagnose it. In addition, the worried look on their caregiver’s face tells the whole story.
2 -
This is funny. A few years into his journey, my hubby became fixated on blue cars. Every time he saw one, he would say, "Blue car," or simply, "Blue." When it came time to buy a new used car, I bought a blue one. He never mentioned it again. I think his family must have had a blue car when he was young. I'm not sure.
1 -
My DW is now fixated on white pick up trucks. Every time she sees one she yells to me to look at that truck, I want one. If we walk by one she has to look into it. This is such a strange disease.
1
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more
Categories
- All Categories
- 699 Living With Alzheimer's or Dementia
- 403 I Am Living With Alzheimer's or Other Dementia
- 296 I Am Living With Younger Onset Alzheimer's
- 19K Supporting Someone Living with Dementia
- 5.9K I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)
- 9.3K Caring For a Spouse or Partner
- 3.4K Caring for a Parent
- 248 Caring Long Distance
- 207 Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone
- 13 Discusiones en Español
- 1 Vivir con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- 1 Vivo con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- Vivo con Alzheimer de Inicio Más Joven
- 12 Prestación de Cuidado
- 3 Soy Cuidador (Temas Generales)
- 8 Cuidar de un Padre
- 23 ALZConnected Resources
- View Discussions For People Living with Dementia
- View Discussions for Caregivers
- Discusiones en Español
- Browse All Discussions
- Dementia Resources
- 8 Account Assistance
- 15 Help