What do you do when DH is in a bad mood/depressed?

I do think unfortunately it will be your role to pull it together and lighten things up. In the moment, if the situation is especially poor, try pretending you are professional caregiver and let things just roll off. The more stubborn or angry feelings expressed, the nicer you will become. Next, and I mean next but high priority, list things to care for yourself. Can you afford a paid caregiver at times? If your loved one is resistant to the idea, play it off as a cleaning service. Do you have family that could take an afternoon a week. Tell yourself that you will just accept that a couple hours of TV will be okay to give you a break. As far as activities, going to resale shops may provide some good distraction and relief. Find ways to simplify your life such as a meal delivery service. You may not be able to use the hammock in your yard but try to find ways to even get 20 minutes by yourself at a park. Often, your community aging support may have some other respite options. Please remember you are not alone.

I agree with caregiving daughter regarding looking at the situation as a paid caregiver. Early on in our journey my DW would get so mad when I suggested doing things together. I took everything personally and it tore me apart. Now I don’t let it bother me as I know it’s not her but the disease. Do whatever it takes to get some me time as often as you can. We are all here with you as you go through this.

My days typically go through quite the roller coaster of emotions with my DH and it's very hard to de-personalize it. I'm not exactly sure why I get so triggered when he complains about the same stuff every day - the suggestion about seeing things as a more impersonal caregiver is excellent. Unfortunately, I think that the only way that my DH will stop being so negative is when he is much further along in this journey.

I understand the need for alone time Chance Rider. It has been one of my personal coping tools for my entire life and I miss having any quality alone time more than just about anything. I find it so hard to be my best for DW when I have so many days in a row without that much needed break. I usually have 4 hours every Tuesday when DW goes to her sister's home and this week she was unable to take her. I thought I was fine and even managed a great Tuesday for DW but I am absolutely shocked at how much I feel the loss of those 4 hours when I woke up Thursday and realized the carousel never stopped this week.

Shadowing. Has anyone else experienced where the shadowing behaviors stopped then returned again. Early on we experienced the shadowing most often discussed here. Couldn't even take a bath without company. Then we moved past that intense shadowing phase for most of stage 5. But as we are moving into more of stage 6 behaviors I have noticed the intense shadowing returning. Is this common or is it perhaps more anxiety developing and I should consider a medication adjustment?

Thanks Chance Rider - me too. How is the garage clean out going? Last year DW went to Disneyland with other family and I had an entire week to clean out so much stuff. None of which was ever noticed by DW. 😁

Totally agree with you regarding being a caregiver now and not a loving partner even though we all do this out of our love for our PWD.

Sorry so late in replying! While I never got into the garage, the kitchen and a few closets are in much better shape plus I have 6 large boxes ready to donate to our local hospice store.

Last Halloween my step son took his father to Disneyland for a long weekend. That time I had hired 2 people who helped start on the garage. And, just like you mentioned, my husband never noticed the clean up 👍 A win-win!