As POA how do we protect loved one from large purchases they don't understand

Welcome. Sounds like you need to freeze his credit again. I agree that his access to finances needs to be limited. Scammers are also a big worry at this stage. I am also wondering how he got to this car dealership to make the purchase. If he is still driving take the car completely away. His judgment can not be trusted. If he is calling an Uber or something, taking credit cards away should help. Does he live alone? If he thinks he can still drive, he may also think he is perfectly capable of running a chainsaw, climbing a ladder to make home repairs, using the ban saw… You said “he and I did freeze his credit”. I’m glad he went along and was willing to do that. Most people with dementia have anosognosia and are not aware of their symptoms or limitations. There is no way my mom would have understood or gone along with freezing her credit. In my experience the time from diagnosis to needing 24/7 care is a very small window. It’s not that a pwd in the early stages can’t care for themselves (make themselves a sandwich, shower, even do some light housework) it’s that they don’t understand their limitations and run the risk of putting themselves in danger if not monitored.

https://www.creditkarma.com/credit/i/how-to-freeze-credit

It sounds like your dad has a lot more "freedom" than my mom. I moved her into AL, 1/2 mile from me three years ago. She is mild/mod Alz. The year prior to me moving her, she had bought herself 5 brand new beds (mattresses), and for whatever reason, she didn't like them and gave them away and bought another— 5 in one year! Spending money is my mom's #1 danger. As her POA, I slowly but surely just took all of her credit cards and check book. Her financial advisor set her up with a DEBIT CARD with a $100 limit. She hasn't ever used it. I don't think she knows how or doesn't recognize it as hers. I don't know. She has a "teen" Amazon account which allows her to shop and put things in her cart, but she can't buy. It has not payment method and notifies me when something is in her cart and she pushes "buy". I then buy them on my account if it is appropriate.

She thinks she is a millionaire (she is not) and she will argue with me about needing things. I'm the custodian of her money. Her care is expensive and I need her money to last for the long haul.

I found the Wells Fargo advisor was helpful to me in setting up her accounts in both of our names. Starting tomorrow, however, I am becoming the only trustee to her funds as she was getting dangerously close to problems, calling her financial advisor asking for large sums of money. Legally she would have to send her the money as my mom is her client. She suggested I get her trust changed so I was the only trustee. My mom won't know this. It is the only way to protect her money from herself.

This is interesting and enlightening. I have not ‘asked’ my Mom about anything that I have done so far. I have frozen her credit and consolidated several accounts after she added me to the accounts. I do not yet have POA. I would let her live at home with aides if I was able to lock down her accounts. She doesn’t want to be here and I’m not thrilled with it either. She has already temporarily lost a pretty good chunk of money - she had no idea what happened to it, was adamant that she didn’t sign to withdraw it despite the bank telling her it was her signature, etc. The bank was able to see that she put it in a different account. Given the number of accounts and the number of banks, I’m afraid that she would convince someone to take her to a bank and move money to who knows where or worse. Do you have to have POA to set up a trust and be the only trustee? I have finally been able to speak with a CELA this morning. After contacting several, I finally found one that may be able to get me on the schedule before the end of the month once I submit preliminary paperwork and the consultation fee. Sorting out legal assistance, finances, dr appts, etc is a full time job. 😞

If she is reluctant about signing the DPOA you might present it as just something that should be done because she is getting older. My mom was also reassured by the fact that it did not take any of her rights away, only gave me rights. Unfortunately once I had the dpoa I had to take assess to money away or there would have been problems. She is pretty dependent on me, doesn’t know the phone number for the bank and can’t drive so it wasn’t too hard. Other than her anger and guilt.

Trusts are great. They can be set up to feed a checking account with the person's monthly cost-of-living expenses. Rent and incidentals come out of the checking account, with filters set to alert for approval of any larger purchases. Even if someone hacks the checking account they can't get back to the trust, limiting losses.

Yes having the PWD as the trustor-owner of assets and then a trustee to manage them is excellent-don't forget to have a back-up trustee named . If no family members logical or available the elder law attorney can usually recommend professional fiduciary/conservators . Not inexpensive but if no backup then it goes to court and one is named anyway- may as well select up front to avoid a lengthy time gap and hopefully better quality .