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Finding My Way

Hello! I recently moved my 79 y/o brother in with me from a different state after the death of his wife last November. He is wheelchair bound with multiple sclerosis and has just been diagnosed with mid stage Alzheimer's. He's had a difficult time adjusting to the new changes and has no desire to meet people in this area. I'm concerned about the lack of stimulation and social interaction, as his only interest is the tv. I've tried card games, ipad games, offering to take him places, but he's content to sit in front of the tv watching the same series over and over. Has anyone else had this experience and how were you able to find a suitable solution?

Comments

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 3,264
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    Mild cognitive impairment( your tag) is not mid-stage dementia. MCI is a point where really family can really tell that there’s something off. What you are describing- mid-stage including tagging incontinence is much further along. It’s a point at which social interaction becomes difficult due to the cognitive decline. Apathy also is often present at this stage, so him wanting to just watch TV is not a surprise. Really, just let him do it.

  • terei
    terei Member Posts: 976
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    Agree with quilting. Apathy is part of the disease. I doubt any of your efforts will succeed in him being interested in socializing

  • Nosokoma
    Nosokoma Member Posts: 9
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    Thank you. I appreciate the clarification… and for your suggestion. So much to learn!

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,321
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    edited June 5

    I agree with the other comments. I will attach a staging tool that might be helpful.


  • Victoriaredux
    Victoriaredux Member Posts: 327
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    Input from audio and visual activities can create confusion and stress for a PWD. It is a comfort for them to NOT have to process the type of social activities non PWD enjoy. You may want to keep your eye on which shows are on - at some point news , war series , etc create stress or fake memories then it's time for cooking and nature shows

    .

  • Nosokoma
    Nosokoma Member Posts: 9
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    That is valuable information. Thank you! That would explain the constant replaying of the same comedy series. I am very grateful for your comments.

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 960
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    Hi Nosokoma - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason

    I agree with the others, but also want to just add a thought - Do look into adult daycare in your area for a day or few a week. This could help him some (but I'm sorry, don't expect a lot), but it could also help you get some respite.

  • Nosokoma
    Nosokoma Member Posts: 9
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    That's a wonderful idea. I will definitely look into that. Thank you!

  • JPJardinel
    JPJardinel Member Posts: 69
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    Hi Nosokoma

    What you are doing for your brother is huge, and the fact that he is leaning on the TV right now makes sense given how much change he has gone through with grief, relocation, MS, and a new Alzheimer's diagnosis all at once. Rather than trying to replace the TV, it may help to join him in watching his familiar shows, since repetition and familiarity often feel comforting and safe for someone with Alzheimer's. Music from his younger years is also worth trying, as it frequently reaches people in ways that games or cards cannot, once cognitive decline is involved. Instead of pushing outings, consider bringing a friendly visitor to him for something low-key like coffee, since new environments can feel overwhelming when both physical and cognitive challenges are present. It is also worth asking his doctor about day programs or in-home companion services designed specifically for people facing both physical and cognitive conditions, since isolation at this stage carries real risks. You are clearly paying close attention and trying everything you can, and that effort matters far more than it might feel like right now.

    I based my understanding on these references:
    https://hopebridge.care/alzheimers-and-social-isolation-understanding-the-link-between/
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alzheimer%27s_disease
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/202207/why-social-isolation-is-worse-loneliness

  • Nosokoma
    Nosokoma Member Posts: 9
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    JP,

    You've given me a wealth of information and I am grateful for your suggestions and encouragement. Thank you! And, thank you for including the sources… my day has brightened already!

    Warmth and gratitude.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,321
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    Some places have a community daycare program for people with dementia. Your local commission on aging could help. This might give you a break for a few hours as well as get him out of the house.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more