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Manning2019
Manning2019 Member Posts: 1 Member
in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)
My grandma has dementia and needs help doing things. She has been wanting moved every 5 mins to her chair and bed. She keep saying she don’t no what’s wrong and can’t see her dog in front of her everything is on repeat for her. How do I confront her or help her? Trying to not get upset but it’s hard
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  • Maru
    Maru Member Posts: 544
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    Member

    Oh, Manning2019, please don't confront her. She cannot help herself. She knows or feels something is wrong but doesn't know what or how to fix it. Her brain is broken. If you feel yourself becoming impatient, leave the room for a couple of minutes. If you are a person of faith, say a quiet prayer when you feel yourself becoming impatient. Arguing will make matters worse, logic is useless. If you haven't read about dementia, it may help you to read up on it, or watch some videos. Most of us caretakers have read The 36 Hour Day. The 3 youtube videos that I turn to are by Tam Cummings, Teepa Snow and Natalie Edwards.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,339
    1,000 Likes 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Care Reactions 1000 Comments
    Member

    Welcome. The looping questions are absolutely maddening. Unfortunately there is really not much that can be done. I sometimes found with my mil that introducing a new topic to the constant repeating loop helped my sanity some. If she seems agitated or upset you could talk with her doctor about anxiety medication. Sadly you might also want to consider some for yourself. It took me too long to admit it needed anxiety medication. Since you are new here I will add a few resources just in case you haven’t run across them yet.


    Anosognosia and Dementia - AgingCare.com.pdf
    understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf
    DBAT.pdf

    https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 967
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Hi Manning2019 - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

    Totally agreeing with H1235 - We can't 'fix' this… But if she does seem agitated, do tell her doc. And you may want to look into adult daycare a day or more a week for your own respite. Also, someone on this forum once said that they made a game to see how many different ways they could answer the same question. Best though, is to try to redirect to a different topic IF possible. Sometimes our LO is at a stage where they can get fixated on one. freakin'. thing. and it is exasperating!!

    Rule #1: Don't argue with a PWD. Rule #1: Must take care of yourself. Rule #2: See rule #1, both of them.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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