Husband hit 89 year old wife

The most common approach is often to call 911 during such an episode. (If she doesn't feel she can it may be she needs to quietly text you to call 911 and you explain or similar.) The police and EMTs would transport him to the hospital on a psych hold. Ideally he would go to a geriatric psych unit for medication management, although some communities don't have one and it's done in a regular pysch inpatient unit. Once stable he would be released either home or to a memory care facility. If she wanted him to go to memory care this is the opportunity, she would work with the hospital's social worker to find placement. It is likely to happen again, please take this seriously. You can also contact his doctor and see if they will do a direct admit to a psych unit, bypassing the 911 part. He needs medication to stabilize this behavior. PWD have and do hurt their caregivers, sometimes severely. Sometimes they were the nicest, most gentle person before dementia and they still become violent, it can just be luck of the draw. Hide all things that could be used as a weapon, make sure mom has a safety plan - always having her phone or an apple watch she can use to call for help, a safe room with a lock she can go to while calling.

Caring for a person with dementia is difficult at any age, but at 89, I’d say it’s almost impossible. I agree that he should be tested for a uti and that meditation to help calm him would probably help. I also agree with victoriaedux. Communicating with a person with dementia is complicated. You sometimes have to spend all your time practically walking on egg shells to avoid an out burst. Never correct, argue, bring up symptoms or limitations. She may not understand the importance of of her approach with him. Not that I am pointing fingers at her, it’s just a very tough situation for anyone to deal with. I think a facility makes the most sense. Keep in mind there can be a waiting list to get in.

Zoloft was incredibly helpful to almost completely eliminate hitting. My mom who absolutely doted on children before dementia started to hit my youngest child when she reached late stage—my mom in dementia found normal young child behaviors intolerable and would get angry and hit her. The doctor recommended generic Zoloft which resolved about 70% of the issues, and then the doctor increased the dosage which then resolved 99% of the issues. Since my mom is at the end of her life we don't even have to worry about long term side effects. It has been amazing.