Mom Newly diagnosed

Welcome. I will attach a bunch of resources I wish I would have had in the beginning. One of the most important things to do is see an elder lawlawyer. You would probably want your dad appointed DPOA with you as the alternative if he were to pass first. Your mom can no longer make decisions for your dad and so he should also appoint a DPOA other than her. I think a living will is a good idea. Your dad might also want to talk about finances and Medicaid if it were necessary. Keep in mind she is really aging in reverse. While you want to allow her to keep her independence and do what you can to keep her happy, you also need to keep her safe and that needs to be a priority. It’s so hard to take their freedoms away. So sorry you need to be here. This group has been great. Feel free to vent, ask questions or just browse.

https://iona.org/therapeutic-fibs-ok/

https://www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk/care-advice/what-is-show-timing-in-dementia-patients/

Welcome to the forum. This site is a great resource and has links to local ALZ chapters as well as local virtual and in-person support groups. Your local agency on aging can also be a good resource.

Driving and finances are two important areas that your dad will need to take over if he hasn’t already. I attend an in-person group and have heard many stories of PWD causing near financial ruin. Driving entails many skills (judgment, reaction time, reasoning, depth perception, recognizing surroundings) that will soon go out the window. If mom still has a phone or uses the internet, that must be closely monitored and will eventually need to disappear completely.

Mom will exhibit anosognosia. This is often mistaken for denial but is actually a neurological condition making her unaware of her disease or its limitations. She will never understand why she can’t drive or go to the bank, will never think she needs help or that there is anything wrong with her, etc. My dad who is wheelchair bound and on hospice still thinks he can drive to this day. This can present challenges as the disease progresses but it’s the disease itself manifesting, not her being unreasonable. She can no longer be reasoned with, it’s as simple as that, so don’t bother trying.

It will be important to keep an eye on your dad as full-time caregiving for a PWD will undoubtedly affect not only on his mental and emotional well being but possibly his physical health as well.

This forum is a great resource for information and support. I learn something new here literally every day. I’m sorry for the need for it but so thankful it exists.