Negativity

You live it, so you know something is different. In the earlier days my husband and I bickered constantly. I said red, he said blue. Didn’t matter what. It’s odd how these things work and can be confusing and frustrating.

@MobbyGirl

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for the reason you are here but pleased you found us.

Dementia is about so much more the mere memory. Changes that appear very early in the disease process include a loss in reasoning/higher order thinking, the loss of empathy, a loss of social filter, personality and mood changes. Early on, people with cognitive changes may recognize the changes and develop a situational depression/anxiety as a result. In men, depression/anxiety is expressed as irritability.

FWIW, I noticed my own dad's personality really go to the dark side. We never really got along, but around 2005 he became edgier to downright mean with other people. It wasn't until 2008 that I saw obvious memory issues. These were initially expressed as conflated memories— he'd recall some awful thing my sister or his sister had done and swear it was me who did it.

Was this neurologist a specialist in dementia? Were any tests done? CT scan/MRI and blood work for hormone and vitamin deficiencies as well as Lyme if common where you live should be done to rule out other, potentially treatable conditions that mimic cognitive changes. Ideally, you'd want full neuropsych testing by a psychologist which can tease out changes in thinking and processing as well as memory. A university affiliated program might be a good option, especially if you are interested in trying a newer infused medication.

That said, it is super common for a physician to give the MCI diagnosis at a first appointment, wait for 6-12 months to elapse and revisit the diagnosis again if there's been progression. DBAT can help you understand how his symptoms and behaviors fit into the stages of progression.

Your reporting is valuable to the narrative and is likely going to be a part of the medical record. It might be best to keep him out of the e-chart.

I found this short download helpful in terms of finding compassion in dealing with my very challenging dad.

HB

Welcome. My husband who has MCI was told by multiple doctors that he was fine and nothing was wrong. You live with your husband and know something is wrong. I would find another neurologist and a neuropsychiatrist who can properly evaluate your husband with hours vs 15 minutes of testing. Push for bloodwork to test for Alzheimer’s, and an MRI and PET scan of his brain. These tests will confirm any neurodegenerative disease. In most cases, MCI is caused by an underlying neurodegenerative disease such as Alzheimer’s. Keep a notebook with notes of all symptoms. In the meantime, if you have not seen an Elder Law attorney, do so asap to get legal documents in order while your husband can still sign them along with signed Hippa forms so that you can access his doctors.

A long time ago, I took my mother to her PCP and confidentially told the nurse my concerns about her cognitive impairment. After the visit, the doctor walked out with my mother and said to her, “Your daughter thinks you’re having trouble remembering things, but I think you’re doing fine.” He then turned to me and said, “You’re lucky to have her genes.” She died due to Alzheimer’s a dozen years later. Ten years ago, my DH was concerned that he was having trouble with his memory. His PCP told him it was probably normal aging since people who have Alzheimer’s don’t usually express it to their doctors. However, my DH actually wanted testing, which was done at a nearby medical school’s memory clinic. He has had CAT scans and a PET scan. Initially, he was diagnosed with MCI, but that was changed to Alzheimer’s after 3 years. As others on this site have said, your PCP may not be equipped to make a diagnosis. You’re with your DH 24/7, and the behaviors you observe are far more reliable than what a PCP sees in a 10-minute test. See a neurologist to get answers and find out what the next step should be.