Advice

dlobbs · July 11

So, I am struggling getting my DH to take his meds. He has decided the meds is what is wrong with his brain. The meds are the only thing keeping him functioning as well as he is and he is starting to decline a little faster than in previous years.

I don’t argue with him or try to reason with him, but I just say wait until we see the doctor or leave them on table next to him and eventually he may take them. Every night he says I am giving him the wrong thing.

Any suggestions.

sfrsythe · July 11

oh blessings to you! I am dreading that happening. I too look forward to responses.

blacksparky · July 11

Two things I have tried successfully are telling my DW that it’s time to take your vitamins. This works in our case as she was a big vitamin taker. I have also thought a pill crusher to crush the pills to mix in with her yogurt or Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

jgreen · July 11

Hi @dlobbs

Same things work for me as @blacksparky mentioned.

Be sure to talk with doctor or pharmacist first to make sure pills can be crushed. I learned that Depacote (particularly extended release) can’t be crushed. I am checking if there is a liquid form I can use next visit with PCP.

dcare45 · July 11

Yep the pill crusher and PBJs worked for us. Checked with doctor first. Now DW chews the one she will take instead of just swallowing it.

H1235 · July 11

My mom started giving me some pushback about one of her pills. She said she didn’t have a +#* mood problem and didn’t need it. The doctor had just prescribed it. I waited a week and told her the doctor wanted her to take a new vitamin. I think she would have been fine if I had told her it was for her blood pressure or something else too. She never questioned it after that.

marier · July 11

My Dh initially started to complain about the amount of meds he was taking. I then put extra vitamins and tylenol in the mix. So when he complained about the amount I just removed the vitamins and tylenol from the mix. This satisfied him for a while and then he started to refuse all meds. I just put the meds in either chucky ice cream or P&J or pudding. I would put the meds in the 1st spood full and hand him the loaded spoon.

Jgirl57 · July 11

I also use the vitamin approach and wait between different medicines. I say tummy vitamin, then vitamin for his back and then muscle vitamin . Has helped a bunch.

Al2024 · July 12

I have learned that if I push her too much to do the right thing, it makes me stressed out and frustrated. I have decided that I will do whatever I can and then if it doesn't work then it was not meant to be. She makes her own decisions, even when they are wrong, and I've decided that in order for me to maintain my health and calm then I just have to let her do it as long as it 's not something that's harmful to either me or her.

terei · July 13

staying calm and content ended up being much better for all involved instead of agitating my mom twice a day over something she did not want to do. We ended up offering meds ONCE and if she said no, that was the end of it. Putting the meds in rice pudding worked for awhile, til it didn’t. Unless meds are absolutely necessary for a painful condition, extending life with a progressive fatal disease is immoral. (JMO)

terei · July 13

dlobbs · July 13

Thank you for all your support. I have wondered about just crushing the medication and putting in his food but then immediately felt guilty for thinking about doing it.

dcare45 · July 13

Hi dlobbs

I felt exactly the same in the early days. I was not comfortable giving DW meds without her knowledge.

After we progressed and anxiety, frustration, and anger exploded I thought how horrible it must be to be in that state of mind ALL THE TIME For DW.
Now we, as everything else on this journey, do what is best for our LO.

Quilting brings calm · July 13

Ask the doctors what can be eliminated given a diagnosis of dementia combined with life expectancy. By that I mean if removing a medication doesn’t have consequences in the next few years, then maybe it’s not needed for him. Eliminate vitamins, etc. Eliminating unneeded medication is one of the first things hospice does(they keep it if removing it will cause discomfort).

I will also say that mom had an un(mis) diagnosed UTI and she became scared of us giving her medication. A friend could visit and she’d take her medications if the friend offered them. Once her UTI was treated, she took her medication when offered.

SDianeL · July 14

I told my DH that the doctor prescribed the pills to help his brain and he took them! Sometimes the simplest explanation works best. Go figure.

Advice

Comments

Commonly Used Abbreviations

Community Guidelines

Categories