Driving - any ideas on softening the blow?

Audrey22
Audrey22 Member Posts: 16
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My husband has Alzheimers and is slowly getting worse.

3 doctors and some friends have said he shouldn't be driving.

He went for a road test but failed the eye test so couldn't do the road test then went to an optometrist who said he was Ok to drive and sent in the forms from the DMV. We haven't heard from DMV and I made one attempt to contact them. Essentially I think he shouldn't be driving either so have let matter lay.

He gets very agitated about this and I just remain silent or change the subject.

He won't accept much help as he believes there is nothing wrong with him - anosognosia.

Comments

  • mbmaz
    mbmaz Member Posts: 3
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    I have a husband with early stage Alzheimer’s. He has glaucoma and retinol occlusion and receives injections in his eyeballs every six weeks or so.
    he is still driving because he passes the driving test. he’s beginning to not be able to focus on two things at once for example, if he is watching something on television and really focusing and able to follow it, I can’t speak to him because he can’t hear me while he’s focusing on television
    no multitasking at all. He’s only 73.
    When he can’t understand questions, I ask him. He’s beginning to become more angry. He says he’s not angry at me. He’s just frustrated.
    One of my concerns is, we don’t have any long-term care insurance coverage. He’s very energetic and always wanting to be doing something. Has never been one just to sit and relax or even be a couch potato. Very limited with sedentary type activities.
  • mbmaz
    mbmaz Member Posts: 3
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    What my DH has sounds similar.
    he will often not want to wear his glasses and tell me he thinks he sees something totally different than what he’s .

    I don’t know if it’s his vision or his Alzheimer’s. I encourage him to put his glasses on. He’s recently had a hearing test because his neurologist if he has bad hearing to make sure it’s addressed. Being able to see properly in here properly I’m very important in this early stage of Alzheimer’s.

    my DH is receiving Kisunla infusions. Actually has just received his first his first MRI is this week. i’m sorry to hear about your spouse.

  • Belle60
    Belle60 Member Posts: 133
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    Is PCA something that can occur after a diagnosis of Alzheimers? My husband is in late stage 5 and I have noticed that lately he will be looking right at something but then ask where it is.

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 835
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    When my DH failed the cognition test, they said that he would need to take something called a DriveAble test which is administered by an Occupational Therapist. It evaluates things like control, judgment, reaction time, etc. This is because a person could still have perfect vision and pass a standard road test, but that’s not really the issue with someone with dementia in real world driving. When DH refused to take that test, he was reported to DMV based on the low score on his cognition test. The DMV sent a form that needed to be filled out by a doctor in order to keep his license. Naturally no doctor would do it so he had to surrender his license. He was angry at the doctors for a while but quickly got used to me doing all the driving. I was glad that I wasn’t the one who forced him to stop driving, and happy that hurdle was finished. I agree with @terei said about intercepting the DMV reply. In my opinion, the optometrist should know better than to sign the form for the DMV if he/she knew that he had a dementia diagnosis.

  • Maru
    Maru Member Posts: 574
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    This is always a hard thing. No one wants to lose their independence and driving a car gives a sense of that. I saw that you were concerned about not having long term care insurance but I would be more concerned about whether your auto insurance would cover your LO if he is driving with diagnosed ALZ…and it may not.

  • tboard
    tboard Member Posts: 371
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    I made constant excuses to keep my DH from driving and I hid all of the car keys. I can't think of any way to make this easier. Eventually he bought my argument that he didn't have a car anymore and when we got him one he could drive but until then I would be happy to give him rides in my car.

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 1,401
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    I think @tboard has a great idea. Lots of times with dementia it's smoother to finesse things than to tackle them head on. You can't reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. Unplugging something in the engine so it won't start, moving the vehicle to someone else's house and telling them it's in the shop, losing all the keys (I bought a safe to put stuff in so my dh couldn't lose valuable papers). My dh did us the favor of totaling his car so I didn't have to make many excuses—just went looking to buy him a new car and talked about how expensive they are these days so we couldn't get one. Over time he also got used to riding with me.

  • Audrey22
    Audrey22 Member Posts: 16
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    Thank you all for your replies - I am already following some of the paths you suggest and just fudging along basically.

    I have POA and have taken the battery out of his car keys to my car. His truck is a monument in the driveway - rather jauntily situated but I do nothing about that either as it is not registered (nor can be) or insured - the battery is flat and he keeps urging me to call AAA - I have not.

    His eyes didn't test well at DMV because he has a neck problem and couldn't access the machine properly. That neck problem also means he cannot turn his head to see cars coming from the left or right at intersections.

    There have been various "dances" with his PCP re his driving mainly due to me trying to advocate for my husband - I now realize that was not OK and firmly on the side of him not driving.

    It seems its a take the anger and wait it out situation.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 3,426
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    My husband was initially diagnosed with Dementia - probably vascular. 18 months later after I sent behaviors & symptoms to all his doctors, his Neurologist looked at his last CT Scan again and responded that his symptoms were "consistent with PCA - Posterior Cortical Atrophy." PCA is a type of Alzheimer's which is a type of Dementia. My husband's symptoms were that he saw a large black area on one of his eyes. His vision was fine. He also had episodes of extremely high blood pressure, sweating, nausea & dizziness. 2 trips to the ER and they found nothing that would cause it.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more