Acts like a bratty child

I can relate, Lisamarie62. My DH is stage 5 and he will act like a baby if there are people visiting because he wants all of my attention all of the time. If I talk on the phone for what he considers is too long, he gets mad, or if someone is visiting, he will keep asking me to sit with him or keep asking me to find something he thinks he needs, or ask me to get him something to eat, or ask me to look at his appointment book in case he has an appointment at the exact time someone is visiting.

If you look at the dbat you will notice it gives a rough age equivalence for each stage. At stage 4 I noticed signs of teenage attitude. When try to protects moms money from her bad decisions she said, “Its my money and I can do whatever I want with it and you can’t stop me”. Dementia is about so much more than memory loss. Try to remember that this childish behavior is dementia not him being difficult. I think that change in mindset allowed me to feel sympathy rather than frustration.

I can relate to so many of these comments when my DH was in those earlier stages. I remember some rare times, before I ever had thought about testing for dementia, where he would throw a fit, almost a temper tantrum followed by pouting for a while. It was so unlike him and I never knew when it would happen. A couple of years later when he was diagnosed, I now could attribute that to the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s. He did get more childlike in the later stages with following me around, not letting me have a phone conversation, wanting to be the center of attention when out with friends, but that eventually passed. The only way to deal with it is to not get upset or defensive, and remember that it’s not personal, it’s their messed up brain. Staying calm helps to calm them. Distraction, redirection, anything to get them away from whatever is upsetting them. It’s very hard to keep your cool but you will get better with practice and understanding what’s really going on.

If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing in the pits, eh Ginger?

My DW was never bratty about her demands about me being with her 24/7. She always pulled her therapist card to "have a talk" so she could explain to me why I couldn't have any friends. Haha. She literally did that several times where I'd say, "Are you telling me I can't have any friends?" and she'd say, "Yes. Exactly.", in all earnestness.

Even in my exasperation, I found that pretty darn funny. Still do, actually. But, the biggest change I made came from these conversations. I realized suddenly very clearly how she could no longer reason because of these very conversations. It made realize I needed to be incredibly strong to find respite time for myself in the face of the love of my life demanding that I not take any time for myself. Disappointing her was always the hardest thing for me to do in our relationship. I wanted nothing but to make her happy, but that demand was just a bridge too far and I honestly think fighting for respite time saved me.