what is expected in memory care?

Agree with the previous commenter. What you describe is neither sanitary nor safe and should not be routine. With two—perhaps three—male residents using the bathroom, it needs daily cleaning.

Nail care: My dad is seen by a podiatrist quarterly for his feet; I trim his fingernails.

Meals vary. My dad has been in one AL and two MCs. The place he is now is by far the best for healthy food. It’s also the most expensive of the three.

All that said, I do a lot of my dad’s laundry and some cleaning. And I too work full time and want to spend my visits actually interacting with him. After many discussions with management, cleaning and laundry care have improved. Some.

I had several of the same complaints at my dad’s MC AL. Instead of visiting my dad, I was sweeping, cleaning, changing linens, cleaning urine off the floor and begging them to do his laundry. MC also did not get the same menu as AL but we were allowed to take them to the AL dining room or bring in food which we would do occasionally. I hired a stylist for his nails and haircut and he was seen by mobile podiatrist. I feel your pain but the reality is that “assisted living” means they provide assistance with ADLs, weekly laundry and housekeeping and the rest family must provide.

My dad needed a higher level of care than MC ALs provide. My dad is now in a MC RCF and it is wonderful.

sorry,meant RCF

Memory care, assisted living and nursing homes are regulated on the state level. You should go to the website for your state health department and human services department and learn more about standards. There are often state laws governing these places. I learned a lot by looking at the state laws. In general the situation your dad is in seems unhealthy.

I am sorry you are going through this. I had a similar really difficult situation and had to move mom from one MC that was closer to me back to a better quality one farther away. I went through the same process of questioning cleanliness and the practices of the institution. I will say there is no perfect AL/MC or nursing home facility. The dietary stuff seems pretty standard and many residents put on weight from the change in diet and routine. The part that bothers me is that what is being stated isn't aligned with what's being done. It's like they told you what you want to hear to get Dad in but then backtracking on their word. But the hygiene and urine issues are not acceptable to me. How does the place respond when you contact them? Do they try to make changes? Acknowledge that there is a problem? What I notice about the better AL where my mom currently resides is that when a problem arises, they acknowledge it, apologize and attempt to make an improvement. I would keep everything in writing for your records. I hope things get better for you and your Dad.

As I was reading your post, I was wondering if I had written it and forgotten! I’ve experienced everything you have. Both of my parents are in the same facility. It’s only been 2 months. The menu thing is exactly the same problem, my mom has gained weight, my Dad had lost weight. My Dad has a bedsore, because they aren’t reminding him to move around, shift his weight and do some light exercise. I feel like PT is “phoning it in.” And the fingernails! They can’t have nail grooming tools, but nobody is cleaning their fingernails. If he was washing his hair, his fingernails should be clean at least a few times a week! My mom’s shampoo has never been used. My facility is spotless when their regular housekeeper is on duty. She’s off two days a week and the place falls apart.

I’ve met with every member of upper management, and corporate. They are very nice, but make a lot of excuses. Responses I get are “We are short staffed.” And “We can’t find applicants for jobs.” They have no kitchen staff, so they are using LPN’s to serve food. Having the same people serving food that clean up the patients has an ick factor. But also, LPN’s didn’t go to school to serve food!

I had been visiting this facility for several months prior to their move in. Everything changed since I signed the lease. It’s a pricey place. The sad thing is, it’s still the best care available to people who don’t have millions of dollars.

Oh, and they’ve been without an activities director for over a month. The food is never what’s on the “menu.” There has never been a piece of fresh fruit in sight. Food and activities- those were the primary reasons for moving them there.