Ever Moved LO From One MC to Another & Regretted It?

MCDaughter · August 2

New to realizing no care team in the world can care for LO like I did in my home, emotionally/general attention/wants & needs, although clinically I could never keep up!

Tell me of times where you felt similar and moved a LO to a different MC only to find that the previous team (although imperfect) was actually doing well, doing their best for LO circumstances, and the “grass isn’t always greener”.

ARIL · August 2

Sorry, I am sure this happens and others will tell you of their situations, but it was not my experience. The second MC was noticeably better. Still not perfect, of course, but better: better food, more attentive caregiving, more familiarity with family involvement, much greater focus on memory care residents rather than an afterthought of assisted living.

And yes, I agree: there is no way I could provide care in my home. Even if I quit my job and we remodeled the house (bathroom grab rails, outdoor ramps, etc.), I simply could not ensure safety, nor could I be constantly awake. I’ve concluded that showing love and care for my dad at this stage of his life is all about enlisting the help of others and being a vigilant visitor myself.

April23 · August 3

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/278985#Comment_278985

Ditto to all this. Couldn’t have said it better.

ErikaDaughter · August 12

Dad's only been in MC a week, just over, and I can't help but think I could do sooo much better. I'm shocked at how unsafe he has been, falling/not medicated, nobody noticed he seemed off. I am going to price out the cost of having him at home with 24 hour care. I do need to keep in mind the grass is always greener but it really has been horrible and this can't be the best solution.

tboard · August 22

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/76721/ever-moved-lo-from-one-mc-to-another-regretted-it

Memory care is hell. I continue to visit my DH every day. I wash his glasses and give him his watch. I often put on a shirt over his t-shirt. I check his feet and put on his support socks if they aren't on. If his dentures aren't in I find them, clean them and put them in. I wash his face and hands. Even though we pay $1400 a month for his food, breakfasts are terrible and I often bring him peanut butter sandwiches and other delicacies he enjoyed at home but that are not served in memory care. I bring hime outside to sit and enjoy the weather and watch the cars go by. Today I did some cleaning in his room because somehow a bag of Chex snack mix got spilled all over his floor. it was all crunchy and broken up but easy to clean up. Oh and early on I put plastic guards in the electrical outlets along the wall where is bed it. They like to push his bed right up to the wall and the outlets are at mattress level.

I took care of him at home until I couldn't do it anymore. You are right they can not provide the same kind of care we can provide at home. In memory care they don't notice if he is hungry or anxious or if he can't chew his food or if he is too cold or too hot.

Also they forget to send a bill and when they do it is for a different amount each month but I usually manage to negotiate a payment that is the same as what we paid the previous month.

sandwichone123 · August 23

For me, the biggest issue with home care would be that you'd have a job managing the staff. I was talking about that with my siblings last weekend, that if we kept Dad home someone would have to be the manager (not me). Someone has to hire, assign tasks, supervise, deal with people quitting and calling in. There may be an agency, but they may not have someone to fill in on short notice and if they do there's the issue of having to orient/train someone on short notice.

MCDaughter · August 23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280605#Comment_280605

YES! This! I’ve seen the staff (some) pull back to only bringing meals…not turning (bedbound)…2-hour checks gone…, too, during family visits. If sitters are added, I fear this will only increase then make it double worse in the absence of visitors/sitters.. Such a conundrum!

fesk · August 23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/280649#Comment_280649

I believe geriatric care managers can be hired to oversee this. Not cheap, but it can be done.

Ever Moved LO From One MC to Another & Regretted It?

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