Dementia, Paranoid False Memories and Coping
My DW has moderate dementia. She was always a strong person and is not easy to admit the problem and resents the loss of control to handle things like finances, house chores, cooking. It also includes resistance to me setting up her medicines. Much of the paranoia focuses on a former neighbor she insists now lives next door. She believes the neighbor set our former house on fire and will do the same at our home we moved to after a fire two years ago that originated next door. It occassionally, like the past three days, has focused on things she believes my sons have said. It is impossible to "not engage" or "meet her where she is" after hours/days of her repeating untrue accusations against good people. She has a med for the psychosis and donepezil for memory, but I cannot ensure they are taken. It leaves me exhausted and in despair after I engage in the heated discussions when I reach my limit of patience. Not sure how long this can go on. Not sure of the options. Things go well for weeks, I have hope for us doing the best we can, and a series of dreams at night bring her back to her defiance and anger at innocent people. Seemed so good before this latest round. Suggestions for going with paranoid delusions?
Comments
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((HUGS))
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I definitely share your sorrow I am going through very similar issues with my DH I pray that this support group keeps giving you the outlet to vent your frustration in a safe space
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You have just voiced what today, I am going through. I thought I was on top of this, acceptance, happy to go along with all words, thoughts and deeds, getting into his world. We have been having a great time as much as possible, at least I was feeling OK about my lot and I recognise that I am a lot better off than some, not having to cope with anger and frustration. My DH is generally in good spirits, is cooperative, we can go to the theatre, have picnics at the beach etc and then I hit a brick wall. His paranoia has increased to baddies coming through the back fence, builders noises from next door are evil and he thinks his carer is also evil. He is waking on the hour from about 2am in the morning, pacing around the house, he is having trouble swallowing his pills even with honey and spitting them out, his aphasia is so bad there is very little speech now or just word salad and his confusion has increased. I am tired of making conversation with me, trying to get him to swallow his pills, managing his toileting needs, spoon feeding him and dressing him. He is very shakey and unsteady on his feet and I am just tired. I buy everything on-line, it's just too hard to shuffle around the shops, I have home help for cleaning, and the garden, he has a carer that he doesn't like, twice a week for a few hours, but he wouldn't like anybody. Tonight I feel washed out, lost and alone, although I have a loving family, it sometimes makes no difference. I hope tomorrow will bring sunshine and a less tired attitude for us all. Thank you for the rant. I am sorry Rono I have no suggestions just sympathy and understanding for you. Tonight I'm over it. Maybe someone on this forum can help.
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So sorry RonofPenn- sounds very difficult. Not sure I have any novel solutions to this. I’m going through similar with my wife. I’m actively working with neurologist to adjust medication regimen but so far- it feels to me- not to be working that well. But I dont know how bad it would be now without the medications. I do try to “enter” into the delusion sometimes and change or add to the story to try to turn it into a new direction or focus. Once in a while this works. I also try to change the subject with fun food, a trip to the garden to cut some flowers , or or or ….
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sending hugs and deep breaths 💜
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Can any of his meds be changed to liquid? That way you could just put it in his drink. Or crush them and put in ice-cream.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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