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NEW HERE! Need advice for POA “overrides”

Anonymous82
Anonymous82 Member Posts: 7
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in Caring for a Parent
Hello all! I will try to keep this brief. My mom was taken out of one nursing home without my consent back in 2021, and is now in a rehabilitation center as of April ‘26. I have POA since June 2020, but somehow non-family members allegedly have POA for 2026. I am my moms only blood family here and I need advice on how to ensure no one is able to steal or eventually plan my mothers funeral when that time comes. Please help. Im exhausted..
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  • Anonymous82
    Anonymous82 Member Posts: 7
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    My apologies, but my mom has advanced dementia, was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment in 2019/2020.
  • towhee
    towhee Member Posts: 642
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    Welcome to the forums.

    In a situation of dueling POAs there is no substitute for a lawyer. Please consult a lawyer experienced in elder law.

    However, when a person dies their POA becomes invalid. The one who has legal authority after death is the person who is listed in their will as the executor of their estate. That would be the one paying bills and handling any distributions. If a new POA was written it is possible there was also a new will.

    As to funerals, it is entirely possible for the current POA (whoever that legally is) to prepay and pre plan a funeral.

  • Anonymous82
    Anonymous82 Member Posts: 7
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    Thank you for your insight. I am not even sure if my mom has a will. Her husband is also deceased and was a veteran (not my dad), so im not sure if she ever wrote anything down. If the new POA exists and the will that would mean that the church members most likely have full control. I can’t have that….i took care of my mom until they stopped me from seeing her…it’s a long story but I hope I am able to get some legal advice soon. Thank you again

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 552
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    Oh, my. Yes, you need a lawyer asap. I am so sorry.

    On the matter of the immediate post-death period (who arranges for funeral, cremation or burial, etc.), that depends on state law. The POA ceases at the moment of death, and then (in my state, at least), decisions are made by a designated agent and, if no one is designated, the next-of-kin. You can check on your state here:

    https://willsprobateguide.com/funeral-rights-by-state/

  • Anonymous82
    Anonymous82 Member Posts: 7
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/282025#Comment_282025

    thank you so much, I really appreciate this

  • Anonymous82
    Anonymous82 Member Posts: 7
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/282026#Comment_282026

    the rehabilitation center is giving me a very hard time….they have been stalling and staff seem to be making up dates for this alleged POA…at first I was told they didn’t present one then all of a sudden it was one from 2024, now it’s 2026. They claim that my financial POA overrides the non- family member and her medical POA overrides mine. It’s not making sense to me….

  • towhee
    towhee Member Posts: 642
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    Be very careful about HOW you sign any facility paperwork, you might end up personally responsible for the bill.

    Financial POA and healthcare POA are often separate documents and it is not unusual that they are held by two different people, although it is not ideal.

    Please consult a lawyer.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 2,324
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    I would gather any documents you have regarding her diagnosis and see a lawyer. At any point was she declared incompetent by two doctors. If you have that in writing you might be able to use it to void out the new DPOA. My thought is to try and prove she was not competent to sign a new DPOA. A lawyer could tell you if that is a possibility. Good luck.

  • Victoriaredux
    Victoriaredux Member Posts: 327
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    edited September 11

    Yes you need a lawyer ASAP , if you prevail most likely the cost of the lawyer can be drawn from your mother's funds if any left & you prevail.

    If she was moved years ago while you held a valid triggered(active) DPOA this needs a lawyer to untangle. Like who is managing her funds - then 2020 to 2026? Who signed admit forms ?

    Are you sure there weren't court hearings that addressed this? You can probably check probate records on line - look in every county where you or your Mom lived or had an address during these times. The lawyer would be able to access them but you'd be able to point them in the right direction.

    This will sound cold but if you find based on the lawyers review that you need to take action to recover funds, make other lawsuit claims etc. your Mother may need to be alive or some causes of action become void on her death so don't delay on getting the lawyer.

  • Anonymous82
    Anonymous82 Member Posts: 7
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    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/282043#Comment_282043

    Thank you, I consulted her last known physician when I was caring for her back before 2022. Since then my sister that lives out of state and the church members have been “handling” things and not including me.i checked casenet online and I did not see any guardianship cases at all for my mom. I reached out to a lawyer online yesterday but I need to call.

    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/282043#Comment_282043

    I definitely have access to one document in my email that I ran across recently that I will lol over again but when I receive the other paperwork I requested from the clinic then I should have what I need…fingers crossed. I hate that I gave up all these years without “fighting” back but my mom didn’t deserve this and their accusations against me are false and no records are on file with the state. I checked as well. The facility where my mom is, is trying to cover their own jobs at this point.

  • Anonymous82
    Anonymous82 Member Posts: 7
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    Thank you. No court hearings online for guardianship. I have a meeting with Social Security next week. They don’t honor POAs so Im trying to understand how the church members are able to receive my mothers funds with no alleged guardianship.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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