What I Miss

WIGO23 · September 13

As my DH continues to lose his ability to live in the world we used to live in, this is what I miss:

Conversation that is without repetition and constant reminders of who or what we are talking about

Living one minute without being vigilant

Telling the one person (him) why I am sad, exhausted and hopeless

Uninterrupted sleep

Being able to leave him without guilt and worry

Telling the truth instead of fiblets and outright lies to him

Feeling like I want to be near him instead of wanting to run away from him

Sharing the everyday tasks of everyday living instead of being the responsible one and the boss of all decisions

Looking into his eyes and seeing him and not the changed person he is now

The list goes on and on…….

What do you miss?

Dusty217 · September 13

My Hubby is in the early stages of all of this. MCI with mostly short-term memory issues. So I do miss not having to repeat myself frequently. I also miss being protected rather than the need to protect his hurt feeling when he is unable to understand what is being said. I fear all of the thing you listed because I know that is my future.

Lethe · September 13

I miss him… all of him
I miss sex and conversation

Laughter… not silence

Travel, curiosity, a future

Relatives who have disappeared and gone silent

I miss me and who I used to be with him.

wose · September 13

I miss the gentle, easy going, mild mannered and soft spoken man I used to know. Now, he’s angry, combative and abusive.

I miss my peace and serenity

I miss my easy, relaxed and carefree vacations at the beach. Now, I fear I will never see it again.

I miss the baseball games we used to go to.
I miss his grandchildren…. the ones I helped raise that don’t know we exist anymore. They were the loves of my life and now at 13 and 11 I don’t know them but my heart aches for them…..

Goodlife2025 · September 14

I miss so very much.

The feeling of snuggling into bed at night and feeling protected, taken care of, and falling asleep thinking that all is well in the world.

Catching each other's eye across a room and knowing we each are thinking the same thing about the events in front of us.

Early on-set stole every thought of dreaming about retirement, travel, hobbies, expanding our hobby farm and, and, and

I miss the autonomy of shopping by myself at a pace I want. Not rushing home to DW or needing to bring her with me for the shopping cart shuffle in slow mo.

I miss planning anything for after 4pm. I miss days where my "to do" list was long and gave me a sense of productivity.

I miss meaningful and thought provoking conversations. Thank you Lord for this site where I can say these things out loud. Hugs to each of us….

Carl46 · September 14

I missed all the things you have mentioned while my wive was alive. And now that she is gone, I miss her.

Biggles · September 14

This might sound strange but I try so hard not to miss all the things that have been said so beautifully. For what it's worth and while I still have the chance and my DH is still so sweet I try to find a meaning in our existence together. I do of course miss our past life, we have had such a wonderful, adventurous, challenging and exciting life. Since overcoming the initial shock and devastation of this disease, when I spent a year in mourning, writing poetry, disappearing into the depths of despair, I try everyday to make something wonderful happen, I try to hang on to the little things, to the moments we can share, to create something meaningful for us both, all between helping with his toileting needs and feeding him another meal with a spoon. My DH has aphasia so our wonderful vibrant conversations can never happen again. Our life is like it was 55 years ago, together and unknown. I want to hang on to this part of our life as part of our journey together without regret. I wonder how long I will be able to hold on to these ideals. I think this is a wonderful thought provoking question. Thank you WIG023.

What I Miss

Comments

Commonly Used Abbreviations

Community Guidelines

Categories