Incontinence Issues

For my mom, I started buying her Depends Silhouette, they really feel like real underwear above the crotch. They are a little more expensive but it was worth it to get her to wear them. They are less bulky and very absorbent. When she started referring to the Depends as “my underwear,” I threw away all of her underwear and filled her underwear drawer with Depends, folding them up the same way she folded her underwear.

My Dad was more difficult, the best Depends for him were gray. So, I replaced all of his underwear with real underwear that was gray. After about a month, I did the same as I did the same as I did with my Mom, folding it and putting it in the underwear drawer. However, now I’m worried that he’s not even trying to use the toilet. I don’t know this for sure, he lives in a Memory Care facility, but he has a very small, open bedsore.

This is an issue I have more experience with than I ever wanted.

1. have you tried the colors/printed kind? You may be ably to put them on top of her others or as others shared swap them out
2. There are some underwear you put pads in. It was too complicated for my mom but some have found it helpful
3. Go with her to buy them and say you are also buying them for yourself because you have the same problem
4. If worst comes to worst (and I pray you never experience this) there are adult jumpsuits that they can’t take off. That’s more if she’s in memory care and won’t use them

Incontinence was one of the most painful parts of my mom’s progression. Unfortunately it does get easier when our loved ones are further advanced as they typically get less resistant and more open to care.

That is my Go-To Answer for everything, "agree" or say, "I'll look into it and see what I can do". It brings down her anxiety knowing she is "heard" and someone is looking into it for her. I may have to say it many more times, but she doesn't remember.