Nothing To Do

Karl38 · October 5

My wife has advanced ALZ. She is reasonably mobile but in severe cognitive decline. She still recognizes me and depends on me for everything. She has no interests, can't read, can't follow a movie plot, can't play games, is not conversant and grunts and points instead of speaking. She needs to be doing something all the time and expects me to provide her with something to do. I take her on walks several times a day and we say nothing. It's driving me crazy. I have her in adult daycare 6 hours/day 5 days/week. I couldn't survive without this help but it's not enough. I can't believe I am the only one with this problem. How are others handling it. I would love to hear from you.

Karl

terei · October 6

This is a common reason for placement which will allow for daily activities and social engagement. IMO it is impossible for one person to meet all the needs without burnout and possible physical deterioration from stress.

Snipe · October 6

What you have posted describes my DW and my day exactly. I could have written it. DW is starting to ramble when she talks and I mostly have no idea what she is saying or talking about. Sometimes it seems more like random topics strung together into a semi sentence, or just a descriptive word(s) that makes no sense. Definitely no conversation. It drives me crazy as well. I usually smile, tell her to slow down and try again, or point. Sometimes I just tell her I have no idea what she’s talking about. I definitely handle it better on the 3-4 days she goes to daycare . It shortens the rest of the day trying to figure something else to do. She does go to bed early so I do get to relax a little then. I don’t know what to tell you that would help, I feel the same way myself. Some days are just so much more difficult than others and I just try to get through each one. It just sees like an endless sad struggle right now.

Biggles · October 6

Karl you are definitely not alone. So good to read your post this morning to know I am not alone. I think I am going balmy with the same problem. DH is in severe cognitive decline, relies on me for everything, his aphasia is so bad he is almost non verbal, he cannot do anything and now is not interested in nor can follow anything on tv. He looks to me to keep him entertained and is wanting to go out somewhere constantly, but when we go out he tires so quickly and can’t walk very far, will not use a wheelchair or any other aid and just hangs on to me. Running out of places to go. I am exhausted, constantly crying through frustration and exhaustion.

persevere · October 6

Yep. Wife is in stage 7b. Going on year 7 since diagnosis. Didn’t take long to get to total aphasia and loss of interest in everything. Our days are filled with eating, agitation control, toileting, agitation control, walking, agitation control…..you get the picture. I am only surviving because I have hired help to get me through the middle part of the day and hospice. Lately I have felt a deep feeling of depression but I really have to keep it in check.

Biggles · October 7

same same it’s awful

Sunfish47 · October 7

Same situation with us, no answers. My highly intelligent DH would be mortified to know the extent to which his life has deteriorated and what a burden he has become on me and our family. It’s a long sad illness. I just try to keep on keeping on. Cancer is kinder, it usually resolves itself one way or another within a few short years.

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