Placement acceptance

Hi Saya-G-

It actually took my dad a whole lot less time than I expected as he tended to be a challenging individual-usually by choice- whenever possible.

He was stage 6ish with mixed dementia. His progression always seemed atypical in a lot of ways- the physical aspects of the disease always manifested earlier than expected while skills like speech and some memory remained better than one would expect. He was already in the stage when keeping his weight up was a challenge.

On admission to MC, dad was ambulatory- mostly a shuffle and unsteady on his feet. He would sometimes fall or even just crumble to the floor. He was mostly able to self-feed a range of foods- soup, ice cream, pasta, sandwiches, etc but not cut meat. He was not reliably continent, especially his bowel control but I think that was complicated by radiation for prostate cancer. He mostly remembered close family (me, mom, his grands) but was hazy on my husband of 35 years and couldn't recall if my sister was dead or alive. He was having a lot of hallucinations and delusions by this point- that his brother lived in another wing, that his golf buddies were in his room visiting, that he'd went clubbing in the basement of the MCF. His speech was remarkably intact- he was conversational until he died. 

He was really angry for the first 2 weeks or so. His MCF wasn't one that suggested a period of no-contact, so mom and I visited daily initially. About 2 weeks in, we settled on one of us stopping in for a short visit daily. Sometimes, he and mom would have an afternoon nap together which he enjoyed; I usually came at lunch with something he might enjoy eating and a snack for later. The MCF had a monthly family event and the only picture I have of dad smiling in the last 6 years of his life was from a Valentine's party about 3 weeks after he moved there. 

Hang in there. It gets better.

HB

My mom, 91 at the time. Probably early stage 5. Still doing ADLs- needs cueing, shower resistant,  no short term memory, unaware of time, year, weather.  About 4-6 weeks to start to make sense of the routine of the place, about 3 months to really settle in.

Kind'a glad this thread came back to the top… Just placed mom-in-law last week.

It is going rather, umm, ok, as far as I can tell. She wants to go home, but she wanted to go home when she was home. So no surprises there. We were able to get her in a bit faster than we thought, so it all worked out. She is probably mid-stage 6.

She is great eating with finger-foods, sandwiches, and the like, other things need to be cut and need a spoon. But the MC is doing great with that, because I'm sure they are used to it.

We made sure to label everything, and yes, the center agrees that they tell the folks 'doctor's orders'.

@AlzWife2023 ((hugs))

Thanks so much @GothicGremlin .

She does seem to be fairly settled. I guess as well as to be expected. Stage 6, probably middle-to-late. We know having her at home, we did all we could for as long as we could.

@Jeff H

I can soooo relate to that. ((hugs))

And now she isn't at the house, so she isn't there for dinner. Now I am finally missing what 'was'. Because although 'this' isn't her, but she was still there. sort of. You really can't explain it to someone who hasn't 'been there/done that'! And I know the wonderful folks here 'get it'.

Mom is also settled in. Brother placed her into the AL section when she was probably late stage 5 after dad passed. They were able to move her within the same facility to MC upon further decline, and she seems rather content, and sometimes even happy. She no longer refers to me as her sister, so now she has no idea who anyone is, but still greets everyone with a rather chipper hello.

My wife was probably in late stage 5 or early stage 6. The staff told me that the only problem she had was learning which room was hers. After that, she would still sometimes sleep in other residents' rooms