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For Older Unmarried Couples, Caregiving Obligations Can Be Murky
Gifted link from the NYT. An article about caregiving issues specific to older unmarried couples. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/10/health/elderly-unmarried-couples-caregiving.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ZE4.JvyT.QUUSabGS4hNM&smid=url-share
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New here, are there any books aimed at the person who has dementia?
Hello, I had the slum test and was found to me on the border of mci and dementia. Thyroid test and b12 test came back normal range. Waiting on diabetes and will have an MRI on Friday. I am wondering if there any books you can recommend that are directed towards the patient and not necessarily the caregiver. I found a lot…
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How to Get Legal Affairs in Order When You're Broke
Hi everyone! As the title says, I'm broke lol (it's not actually funny but I have to laugh or I'll fall apart.) My mom (60) is definitely progressing, and I don't have any of her legal affairs in order. Currently my mom is being taken care of by 2 people in their mid 20's, so not a lot of stability here as neither of us…
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Fair Hearing
Hello everybody! I have a fair hearing coming up on November 7th for myself to be enrolled in the CDPAP program, and I am quite anxious about it. I applied for the CDPAP program last year as I can't work due to being a full time care giver for my mother, and while the state declared that we were eligible for it, my…
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Legal and Financial Transition
MY DH is in early stages of dementia, but I can see it accelerating. We need to shift responsibilities to me and also to our adult son. Though we own our assets and make decisions jointly, and it was he who insisted we revisit (together) our wills recently (thank goodness) DH has held the legal/financial reins for over 40…
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Special needs trust
We’re meeting with a lawyer to go over our wills. There’s going to be a discussion about “self settled special needs trust” vs “third party trust”. My wife is turning 65 on October 12. She was just diagnosed this year. I’m thinking a third party trust would be fine. Does that make sense?
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Power of Attorney
My wife has early-mid stage Alzheimer’s and anosognosia. I’ve been told I need power of attorney, but I have questions about that. Do I really need this, given that all our assets are held jointly? Is there a way to set up power of attorney without confronting her with her condition? She gets upset when that happens and…
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If you are not convienced, let me share this...
Most caregivers know that you should plan as early as you can. And plan for contingencies. Murphy follows Alzheimer's around like a puppy dog. (Murphy's law that says if anything can go wrong, it will.) My 81-year-old DW was officially diagnosed two years ago. She is now in stage 4 or 5, depending… She needed hip…
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My DH was just diagnosed with Alz
My Dh was just diagnosed with early stages of Alzheimer’s. He’s doing well now but we are both overwhelmed with making decision s for the future. Do we stay in our home of 45 years or downsize to an adult community? If we stay put, how to prepare to make home safe? How and where do I get help when I need it? What legal…
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Resident Financial Application
is this a normal request to fill out? mom is in AL and the MC unit is full. Looking to move her to the sister location. Been negotiating pricing and today was asked to fill out a form about her finances. Then they ‘can see what they can do.’ Why would I disclose her assets?!
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Advance Directive for Dementia
I saw some brief mention in this forum of an Advance Directive for Dementia but not a detailed discussion on how frequently people use it. It is used as a supplement to a standard advance directive. It is not legally binding, and is also a very uncomfortable thing to perform (e.g. do not prolong life), so I have a feeling…
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What rights do other siblings have that aren’t in charge of guardianship
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Literally the Last Thing I Needed
Hi everybody, hope you’re all doing well. Bit of backstory to this predicament; my mom (60 diagnosed with ALZ) was a single parent to me (25) and my younger sibling (20). My sibling and I have separate fathers, mine passed when I was 7 and theirs is alive but not active in our lives. He was an abusive man to us and my…
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Decisions have to be made…
I finally got the official paperwork with the diagnosis with my father’s dementia being official. He has signed Medical POA, and Durable POA. He probably won’t remember any of it, despite it being notarized and all. Adult Protection Services along with the doctor says he is fully capable of making his own decisions. He…
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Last will and testament
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 5 years ago. It has been a challenging 5 years. She is now in Memory Care and seems to have lost most of her memory. She is clearly not able to make any legal decisions on her own. About 12 years ago, she made a will. She was most likely of sound mind at that time. In her will,…
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Family Giving Me Conflicting Advice
Hi everyone! I (25) am the main caretaker for my mother (59) who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's back in 2022. Recently we've noticed some progression, she recently forgot my name for the first time so it's kicked my brain in to focusing on things like a will and POA. I was talking to my aunt the other night asking her…
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the first steps in the journey
Hi there, I'm caring for my MIL and while our family is aware and in agreement about our concerns with her possible diagnosis, I'm feeling stuck with how to put in place the necessary things like POA and medical POA. Mom has started becoming aggressive and is absolutely in denial about our concerns. I don't know how to get…
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I'm new here and I want out...: (
DH diagnosed one month ago and our lives are out of control. I am the caregiver, now only driver, home caretaker, as well as the target of his anger, rage, distrust, you name it. Not sure what to do, where to start. I dont even know this person really...and I now realize thats been going on for years. Here I thought we…
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Early onset
Hello, this is my second post. My DW has been dx with alzheimer's at the age of 53. Her mom died of this at 59. She is a candidate for Leqembi and we are waiting on insurance approval. I have DPA and going to have her make a Will and I will be getting healthcare PA soon. Does anyone have advice on what we can do with her…
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Obtaining POA in NYS
Hello everybody! I am stuck on how to obtain POA over my mother in NYS. There is so much info on all the different types of POA's my head is spinning. I know the easiest way would be to hire a lawyer, but I don't think I have the money for that. There are tons of "free" templates online, but they're never actually free.…
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CELA vs Specialist Attorney
Hello - it's my first post! My wife is newly-diagnosed. Probably stage 2 sometimes 3. Most of our financial and legal things are in order (DPoA's, wills, etc.), but I do have some things I need legal help on now that our situation has changed. I see CELA's mentioned on here a lot, but a quick check on the website shows the…
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Mom Was Served
Good evening/morning/afternoon everyone! Yesterday was kind of a shock and I'm looking for some guidance. My mother got served court papers for a dental procedure she had never paid for. Long story short about 5 years ago she was told prior to the procedure that it would be covered by insurance, however once the procedure…
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changed poa
Hi, I'm new here. I believe my mom just changed her poa and took me completely off. Her husband is covering for her and in complete denial about her diagnosis. She was diagnosed with mci 10 years ago and Alz. last Sept. I called the attorney beforehand and told him about her diagnosis. The attorney went ahead and redid it…
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Recos for Certified Elder Care Attorney (CELA) in New York State?
We'd like to find a good CELA in New York State. Some questions: Do you know one you can recommend, or a good resource for finding one? What should we do to prep for our appointment once we find someone? Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.
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Is my situation crazy? Need advice
Hi everyone, I am very new to this group. Just joined 5 mins ago lol. I am 23 years old and I live with my father, 56, who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. He was diagnosed through a PET scan after going through a year and a half of scans, tests, workups. This diagnosis was given to us April of this year, 2023.…
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legal documents
my mom was recently diagnosed with alz. My sister and I are wondering what legal documents we need to make sure that as things progress we will be able to make decisions for her? Please leave any helpful information you have
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How to find Mom's birth certificate and divorce decree
As part of the Medicaid application according to the Elder Law attorney we need a copy of Mom's birth certificate and divorce decree. I can't find them in the house. She does not remember exactly where she was born but thinks it was either New Jersey (most likely), New York, or Connecticut. For New Jersey they require that…
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new here and it's already bad
Hey yall! So, my dad's had signs of alzheimers/dementia for ages. But I moved in with him almost a yr ago, and when he got violent I immediately scheduled him an appt with his Dr...my dad's never put his hands on me. Ffw to 2 months ago, and i finally got himdiagnosed and medicated. Well, a week ago, he got violent again,…
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my father with dementia is still CEO of his company; looking for advice
Hi, I have a tricky situation and feeling lost about what to do. My father founded a company and he has been running it for over 20 yeas. He has developed dementia over the past few years. As of now, his symptoms are: Consistently doesn’t know where he is (such as which town or state or even if he is in his own home) He…