Dementia and Dating

Buggsroo

Vitruvius,

That made me laugh out loud. The clock test, plus any other intelligence test I could lay my hands on. Nah that ship has sailed.

[Deleted User]

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FTDCaregiver

Well, thought I'd give a quick update after reading all the posts, very thoughtful and humorous group we have.  Great I have a safe place to toss out this subject for others to weigh in and receive support.  Anyway, I've gotten on a few dating sites.  After sifting through the scammers, I was able to connect with some very nice women via email, text or phone.  Opted to be very up-front with them as to my situation.  As expected, some ran for the hills, but some didn't and actually seemed interested in my situation. Many just didn't know much about dementia, and all didn't know of course what the life of a caregiver is like...so spent a lot of time on that. So started up some pen pals, getting to know each other, felt really good to talk, email or text about JUST LIFE again with a woman and listen to her story as well what she's looking for in her life and possibly find compatibility if possible.  Anyway, I seemed to have to gotten really fortunate in finding a lovely widow, we just seemed to click, she even spent time on her own to research caregivers and dementia trying to understand my situation and was very empathetic after seeing videos on YouTube.  Good news we're going to meet for the first time this weekend, fingers crossed but we seemed to really understand each other and made a definite connection.  As one person alluded to earlier in not having the energy, he's right, certainly not for everyone, takes a lot of work and was surprised at how many fakers are out there on date sites, but there are some real gems well, have to mine for them!  Anyway, thought I get back to our group and let ya know I've been discouraged.  Hope is alive....hmmm...maybe I should bring the clock test with me?? LOL. .

Crushed

My favorite dinner companion comes over twice a week for a real meal. I have a genetically disabled granddaughter and  she is a top lawyer in that field. She is very close to my age  I make her dinner and she takes leftovers home for lunch in the office.  The other women in her office are impressed that she has a friend who cooks for her.

My kids say I have only one "move" and it's  "through the kitchen"

Laurention

I looked after my EOAD wife at home for 6 years 24/7..DW spent the last 4 years of her life in LTC..  Somewhere around year 8 I did have a few "dates "..Some ladies understood my position some didn't ...One former  lady friend mentioned that there was not enough  room for three people in "our" relationship. .Thats why she's became  a "former "

After my wife's passing ..I've tried ...but the spark is just not there..I do have a lady I see on a regular basis ..But we both know that it will never be anymore than a shared meal..Maybe watch a Hockey game (Canadian Eh ? ) ..We go for a nice drive and check out the flea markets.

That being said ...I find myself agreeing with the others here..I'm 68 years old and spent 10 years of my life providing  care  for my DW.. I still  love her as much as I did when we were teenage sweethearts . I cared for DW out of love ..I will never ever put myself in a care giver position again.

Mike

Marta

I did begin dating after my husband was placed in MC and did not know me. It was by accident ( we shared a common language). Within eight months he was diagnosed with glioblastoma, and I ended up caring for him for the next six months, until he died at my home.  This was 18 months prior to my husband’s death.   His son preceded him in death by six weeks, due to a drug overdose.

JudyMorrowMaloney

I wouldn't date again but that's just me. Only you can decide what is best for you. As for me, I'll stick with my cat for companionship