by M1--Pray for us, send good karma, vibrations--cross fingers and toes, all of it

Joydean

Prayers do get answered! So very happy for you and now we can all start praying for a smooth transition!! From what you’ve said before I feel it’s not going to be easy but you can do this and hopefully she will adjust quickly! But for now this is your moment of triumph!!

Jo C.

M1! They said, "Yes!" Oh happy day, I am truly absolutely delighted for you and for your Partner - it has been a long time and you have been working so hard to have this happen.

May the change happen sooner rather than later. Will they now take a deposit check from you to get your pre-admission acceptance going?

Hopefully they will be okay with it if you call at intervals to ask about a space becoming available. It also lets them know you are still on track for admission and have not had a change of mind. I used to make such interval calls early a.m. to check on available beds coming up as not only did patients move to other levels of care, or families made changes or sometimes a resident unexpectedly, abruptly passed away, etc.; I wanted to get my query for a bed coming open before the Hospital Discharge Planners, Case Managers called for bed availability and locked it in as they usually get priority over everyone else waiting. May be different at this facility, but both professionally and personally I found that to be the way things worked where I was. Early bird gets the worm so to speak. Have to smile - one time, I did an early a.m. call re my LO while I was early a work. Found from the Admitting Supvr. that a bed was becoming available within 24 hours - I grabbed my purse, drove hell bent on leather to the facility and put down my check for admission so I locked it in before a hospital Discharge Planner snatched it.

You are right on spot; nothing is perfect, but there can be far more professional responsibility, care and relationship than what you have had to endure. And . . . wouldn't it just be awesome if this turned out to be a much better fit for your partner and she became more settled within herself.

Such great news, thank you for letting us know.

J.

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Rocky2

M1,

Delighted to hear the good news! Your excitement is palpable. There are so many difficult moments along this journey. This is one to celebrate. I thank God for the YES answer to all the prayers. I'll pray for a good transition now.

Battlebuddy

Wonderful news! She deserves the best place you can find , and my understanding is that this was your first choice?

M1

Yes it is BB. I'm still feeling kind of stunned, but relieved. It will take a while to process. My disappointment in the other management continues to mount, i guess there's nothing they could do right now that would meet with my approval other than wish us well and help to facilitate the transfer. This afternoon after I confirmed the plan they offered another transfer to another one of their facilities. Said it would spare me another community fee. Again, why weren't they more concerned sooner? It all feels like too little, too late, and all about the money. What a wasted year. It will be interesting to see where my perspective stands six months from now.

Another Day

M1 - Still praying for you and your wife. Hang in there, we're here for you. Lord knows you've been there enough for us.

ImMaggieMae

M1, that is wonderful news! I’m so happy for both of you! Can’t believe the director waited til today to call and offer you a discount. It’s not about money. Sheesh!

Please tell us a little more about the new place. Does your partner realize she is moving or does she think it was just a meeting about something else? This will be such a relief for you once it all happens.

Jgirl57

Sending good vibes for success!

Ed1937

M1, that's the best news I've heard today. Congrats!!

Nowhere

Wonderful news. May the new facility be all that you’d hoped and may your wife settle in peacefully and smoothly.

M1

I'll start a new thread about the move and the new place when I have an actual date (probably within the month). Deposit is paid and paperwork initiated. I went for lunch today and my partner was in a good mood, and her back not hurting. An old friend came for part of lunch too, and her favorite aide came in to visit. I told her that two nurses (it was actually a nurse and a social worker) were coming to see her about possibly getting out of the place she is in now. I told her they might not let her go home yet, but it was a step in the right direction. She was accepting of that, and it went well. We talked together for a few minutes, then the nursing director and I talked privately while the social worker visited with my partner. I then walked them out and they immediately said it was a go. Their biggest hesitation, it turns out, was her chronic narcotics for her back, but once they saw how well she functions they were fine with it (her pain docs used to call her their poster child for how to do it right). They both remembered the disastrous hospitalization a year ago and they both agreed they thought she would do better at their facility. Their garden flooded in a bad freeze last winter and is in the process of being replanted, they immediately said they wanted her input on the replanting and she was intrigued (she ran her own landscaping business in one of her previous enterprises).

So it was apparently meant to be, finally. Feels so right. I know she'll be happier. Not perfect, but better. There's a cat. There's an aviary. There's a garden, there's an art studio, and the spaces indoors and out are bigger. Keep your fingers crossed, more to come. The relief is starting to sink in.

Joe C.

M1, That’s great news! I hope you and your partner have a successful move/transition.

Jeff86

Wonderful news for you and your partner, M1. Whatever happens, we have your back.

Ed1937

It sounds like the new place was meant for her. Having peaked her interest in establishing a new garden should work well for her to accept her new surroundings. I'm glad for both of you. It was meant to be.

Another Day

So happy to hear the good news!

jfkoc

What a relief for you.....we are all sharing your joy!

Marta

Fantabuloso!

Rocky2

What wonderful news. Sounds like a better situation for both of you. I'm hoping your partner feels welcomed and comfortable there.

ImMaggieMae

That place sounds perfect for her. I liked the way that you told her it would get her out of the place she was in, and that it was a step in the right direction.

Josie in Podunk

M1….so good to hear after all the turmoil you both have experienced.

My hope for you and your love is that everything goes smoothly.

Dio

M1, I'm so happy for you and your wife! It's only been 2 days since DH moved into MC and I haven't had any guilt or regret. I truly believe it's better for both of us. He's now in the care of very compassionate professionals and they will do a much better job than I can at the moment. I also can recharge, take care of my own health for a change, and hopefully be a better partner/spouse to my DH.

Definitely keep us posted.

M1

I am so grateful for the support from all of you (Jeff, especially glad to see a post from you--have wondered how you were doing by the way). It is a good thing and I am still letting the relief just wash over me, marking time until I can get it going for real. Have to figure out the logistics and what to tell her from here, how to actually accomplish the move (I'm sure my friends will help), and then of course wondering how she will adjust and how long that will take. I'm interested to see how my perspective on the current facility evolves after I have something to compare to. They have continued to email me today, expressing lukewarm support for my decision but also clearly not wanting to lose her. But I really think it's about losing a paying customer....they know I've been concerned about her for months and months, and NOW all this concern is expressed? Where was any communication about trying to make her life better during all those intervening months? Still just makes me angry right now and validates my decision. I just want her to have the best quality of life that she can, for as long as is feasible.

JoseyWales

M1 - I'm so happy to hear this news. I really hope the move can happen sooner than later.

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tigersmom

M1, I am thrilled for the both of you. The new place sounds wonderful. You have been and continue to be a wonderful advocate for your dear partner.

Quilting brings calm

M1- I hope this move helps your wife adjust. Maybe the new environment will allow her to relax and enjoy your visits.

M1

Victoria, you are spot on that the cat Sylvester does hang out near the aviary and likes watching the birds as much as the human residents do! A second cat is apparently in the works too. And yes you may be right about the covid burnout. Comparison will be interesting if i can keep some objectivity.

mommyandme (m&m)

M1, so glad for you and your partner. Thanks for sharing as always.

MN Chickadee

So happy to hear this. Moving my mother to a second facility was a lot of work but so worth it, and I knew in my heart it was absolutely the right thing to do. I hope you both get some better days and smoother sailing ahead.