Daughters caregiver rights Hawaii ,Pay has been cut off .

tiarestyle

I am the youngest daughter careing for my 83 yr old mom with middle stage dementia ( not formally diagnosed).She has been living in my cottage for 1 year now with her 15 year old dog ,the love of her life.After a Small bowel obstuction surgery and 10 days in the hospital ,my mom had quite a big decline in her memory and more confusion .At that point I was adivsed to get help .So I hired a caregiver for help and respite for me. I also asked for pay at that time from my mom whom was not benn deemed Incapacitated at that time.My mom did absolutely want me to be compensated for my care.(she has money to care for herself) As soon as word got out to other family members ,my sister to be exact . She started saying she was going to take my mom away from me and move her to where she lives on another island where none of her friends or family live.All in the name of MONEY.She says she will take care of my mom for free ,by herself,no care givers and run her Airbnb business .My sister is emotionally unstable and bipolar without meds.She hates me so much that she has threatened to kill me and I now have a TRO against her .She also has a ten year TRO from her ex boyfriend. My moms Trustee (financial) has taken sides with my sister whom was named medical POA along with another woman. And the Trustee has been threatening me and bulliying me .She is totally out of line.She has cut me off with no notice and has cut off any care help that I had .

This is very long ,I realize .It has been hell .They are making it so hard for me to care for my mom in hopes that I will give up and let my sister take her.Its not that this is a fun job or anything and my bussiness has taken a big back seat and I have extreme anxiety,PTSD,depression ..... But this is where my mom belongs .She is settled here,she has her dog,her own cottage,a beautiful view in the country in a very safe beautiful neighbrhood.And me and my 3 dogs just a stones throw away.I cook her 3 meals ,organize visits with friends ,give her light chores that she LOVES! We sit out on this beautiful deck in the morning with coffe ,breakfast and dogs ! Shw loves this. I make sure she is clean and showers everyday ,has clean clothes,a nice haircut,clean nails ,nice lipstick and so much more.

My mom has just been through a major move 1 year ago ,selling her house of 20 years.That was hard enough.Now she is settled and has stopped mentioning her old house , she is happy here.As happy as one can be losing their brain.So so hard .But she is a tropper and she has a great attitude.

Please tell me that another move would be the worst thing for her right now. If she needed 24 hour care then we could discuss other options if home care would cost too much

at that point .But for now she still carries on a conversation and does all her own bathing,dressing ,light cooking,washes her dog ,blowdries her hair :) Im looking for support in sticking with this decision for my mom,although at times I do feel like giving up ,but I dont .I just start again .

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