I'm going slowly crazy

Kate8486

Hi all,
I'm new here and the only other real support I have is another online group. My mom is 89 and has never been officially diagnosed, but she definitely has Alzheimers. From the reading that I've done on the subject I'd guess she's a stage 6. My sister handles all of her finances and takes her to the doctor when she feels she needs it, but that's not very often. The other day the police brought her home. They found her wandering looking for her lost 5 year old granddaughter Katherine, I'm Katherine. I rarely get out of the house because of trying to keep an eye on her. But I can't be on alert 24/7. She also never gets dressed anymore, she just wears a ratty old bathrobe and an adult diaper.
I suppose I'm just venting, but I do have a serious question how would I find someone to maybe come in once a week or so to give mom a bath?
Thanks for letting me go on so long. Like I said I'm more than halfway to crazy.

FlowerpowerVt

Omg! I totally get it. I have been going out of my mind for over two years now. My 88 year old mom doesn’t bathe, wears the same clothes every day and hardly eats a thing. She gets mad whenever I question her. She makes crazy comments and repeats herself 1000 times a day. It’s so difficult! Sorry I don’t have answers for you. I just want you to know I feel your pain!

DCCEPEK

I'm new too and just as lost.

We just retired. Had our life planned out.

That's changed since MIL has moved. Same scenario but mean as a snake.

Nothing to look forward to anymore. Can't leave house cook clean every thing bothers her.

It's not an easy task.

Emily 123

Hi Kate,

You can look up services online. Search for 'home care agencies'. If you're in a large enough town there may be Yelp or Google Map reviews.

Spstone0078

I would start with getting her diagnosed. Her primary care doctor can conduct tests or refer her to a gerontologist for a diagnosis. It's important to know if she has a form of dementia and if so, what stage she's in. Once you have the diagnosis, you can find out what services are covered under her insurance or if she's eligible to receive care from the state you live in.

pookabera

Hi Kate, I have a couple steps that I'd recommend as first Do-These-Now-so-You-Can-Deal-with-Everything-Else-Later:

1. Start with contacting the Alzheimer's Association https://action.alz.org/PersonifyEbusiness/Default.aspx?TabID=1500 . I've been researching, cataloguing, comparing for months since my Dad fell in June. I've researched subacute rehab facilities, nursing homes, home healthcare, respite care, and on and on and it is draining. It's possible! But it can be overwhelming. I used this email contact form and was put in contact with someone from my area who was able to provide information on local support groups, neurologists, and in-home care. I was able to make some decisions from there.
2. I'd also recommend calling their 24/7 hotline 800.272.3900, they can help you sort things out and figure out what steps you need to take.

bhelp23

I am new to this forum & appreciate having someone to talk to. My dad has been diagnosed with alzeimers with possible Lewy bodies. It is so hard to watch him go through this. He feels everyone thinks he’s crazy & i can’t convince him otherwise. I’m not sure what stage he’s in- I do his pills, finances & they have cut him off of driving. I retired 2 months ago but feel guilty if I go anywhere by myself- even an hour or two because he can’t drive and just wants to get out of the house whenever possible- I’m sorry-i’m rambling

Kathryn Mc

Hi bhelp, I’m rather new to this forum too. I am finding it to be a good place to get some great information and relate to others that are in similar situations. Sometimes we just need to vent and other times it helps to just read others posts and say a prayer. My mom is the one I am caring for. It is very hard to watch a parent go through this. Remind your dad that he is still the same man he has always been. His actions may be different but he isn’t crazy, and that you will be helping him navigate the “ new normal “ together. As hard as it is , you need to take time away from your dad and remember who you are. It is very easy to lose yourself and forget that you have needs too. It is much easier to be pleasant and productive when you have some physical and emotional respite. Feel free to ramble as much as you like.

MP8

Hi Kate8486,

I notice you originally posted in August so hope you've found some support locally.

When my mother lived with me, we installed a door alarm so that we would be alerted when she opened the door. It helped a lot with our peace of mind.

Take care.

VegasBrit

I feel you, and I too am new to this forum. My mother is 79 yo. She was diagnosed with itch Alzheimer’s in February and is complete denial about it. The neurologist “doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Therefore, she refuses to take her Alzheimer’s meds. I even discovered recently that she was also not taking her BP meds because they look like the Alzheimer’s meds. I do her pills, but she won’t always take them when I’m standing right there and she gets extremely angry if I press her to take them. Last week she got hospitalized because her BP was so erratic and she had colitis. After she came home she took all of her meds and decided that she would administer them to herself. She’s contrary, angry all the time. We fight, I get upset, it’s affecting my health and the health of my family. So even though I have no advice. I do feel you.

janie64

I recently quit my job and relocated to another city to care for my Dad , whom is 86 .the rehabilitation center was preasuring him to decide on long term care and signing over his assets .I was prepared to nurse him ,feed him,take him to dialysis 3 x a week ..I was not prepared for the diagnosis of dementia. He goes days without sleep ,24 hours of restlessness, talking the whole time to people he sees from the past , moans all the time, refuses to eat sometimes. Tries to get out of house , I realized today that I cannot express how close I am to pulling my hair out and fainting in exhaustion . I don't know a single person here in Abilene

DebDeb

There is another thread on this site about meds for the patient's agitation and sleep issues.

JeriLynn66

@janie64 the 24 hour ALZ Hotline on this site can connect you to licenced professionals who can assist you in this terrible journey.. keep coming back and posting here. You will find a wealth of wisdom and support.: