My frustrations are getting the best of me

Schmail13

My mom has lived with me for 13 years . In 2014 she had several hospital stays with everything you can imagine . She was finally diagnosed in 2019 with LBD. She was on hospice for 8 months & somehow , again bounced back . Her health honestly has improved but her memory & cognitive senses have worsened. I never thought that was what would put me over the edge but it has . Aside from my husband & son, no one helps or really shows concern. That eats at me daily & makes it all worse that I’m doing this alone . This is no life & she is ready to be with my dad who passed 13 years ago . I love her with all my heart & know she is still here because of my love & care , but it’s time . I wish I knew what gods plan was . I just don’t know how to keep doing this when I know it will get worse . To top it off , she is loving & appreciative of me & losing my patience just make he feel like a bad person.

SusanB-dil

Hi Schmail13 - You are not a bad person for feeling like you are burning out. You really need a break. Is she able to go to maybe an adult center for a day or few per week? Have you looked into any MC placement? Maybe even have someone come in for a few hours a week, or a weekend, (or both) so you and family could get out and do something for yourselves.

'this' IS hard. And the caregiver needs to take care of oneself. That is important!

Kathryn Mc

Hi Schmail13 , are stories run parallel. My mom has been with me for 11 years since my dad died. She was In the hospital with Covid in 2021. Came out worse than went in and was on hospice for six months. She “graduated hospice” and is physically, quite strong at 87 years old and 86 pounds. Mentally she declined considerably after the hospital stay. Psych believes she suffered delirium. My husband and daughter were the only ones that help and seemed to care. Daughter married last year and has moved out. I have continually asked for help from my 3 sisters to no avail. I understand your frustration for having to do this alone. Recently I offered to pay one of my sisters to come for a few hours a week. She accepted. At first I was put off that I should have to pay her but I am thankful for the 9 hours away from mom that I get each week. The Love you have for your mom is apparent or you wouldn’t be caring for her. I think you are fulfilling Gods plan as hard as it is. I loose my patience too as most of us will because we are only human. Perhaps you can find a family member, neighbor or friend that you can hire for a few hours a week. You are a wonderful blessing to your mom!

Schmail13

Thanks for the comments! I probably should have added that I’m basically ok with not a lot of breaks. Sad for me to say but I worry when I’m away because I am her comfort & calming person. The absence & concern of the family that stresses me out even more . Then because she is so kind & forgiving, she makes excuses for everyone 😡.