Lists

JMack88

So yesterday I started a new job that is 100% work from home. I was so glad to get it so I can be home with mom during the day. Mom's doing so much better after this summer's problems due to her breaking her shoulder. She's nearly finished physical therapy.

My question has to do with lists. Mom does pretty well when she has things written down. Although, she will obsess over her calendar and read us every appointment for about 3 months and question us about anything that got cancelled for at least the rest of the month even if she scratches it out and writes "cancelled" next to it.

I am wondering if anyone has made "to do" lists for their parent to help keep them busy? If you have, what do you put on it? I'd like to start this as a routine to help her get in the habit of doing things like making her bed and getting dressed - all of which she does now with reminders, but in the future she might need more prompting to get them done.

M1

Unfortunately i doubt if lists will help or at least not for long. My partner can still read but there is a disconnect between the words on the page and translating that into the appropriate action. Verbal prompts probably work better than written ones. No harm in trying but i wouldn't be optimistic.

dancsfo

I agree with @M1 that it may not help for long, but it can't hurt, and may help the caregiver with daily planning, and to add some variety. There is an article linked below about a daily care plan, and maybe parts of it can be shared with your mom who may be wondering what she will do that day (an may help her avoid obsessing over her calendar, and she can look at this instead!)

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/daily-care-plan

You are so fortunate to be able to work 100% from home now.

harshedbuzz

It's worth a try, but many people who are able to work from home find their PWD is at loose ends and can disrupt their workflow or zoom meetings. Because they don't have the ability to initiate tasks without a verbal prompt or the executive function to take the next logical step in completing the task you may need to be more hands on than you expect.

HB

Emily 123

I agree with HB. You may be suprised. If you feel like your mother needs to be engaged and to keep busy that's going to be pretty distracting, as you'll have to prompt her often.

Too, recall that the PWD may find being pushed to perform multi-step activities difficult, and she may avoid some former tasks because she can't manage the steps anymore. And they may be OK with doing less.

From what you write about her inability to recall information and manage her calendar, at this point the disease has progressed enough that she may struggle to pick up a new routine like following a checklist. If you do use them, the visual prompts need to be large and in 'can't miss' places. Consider replacing her calendar of appointments with one that just lists her daily 'to-do' items, especially as you've noted that she's obsessing over the appointments a bit--I took away my mom's checkbook when she got very focused on it and told her we were handling her bills, and she actually seemed relieved. Maybe worrying about missing appointments is causing her stress, so try removing the trigger for the worry.