Agression & Frustration

jessdavila18

Hello, I would like to receive information on what to do in cases when my uncle who has Alzheimer's becomes aggressive or frustrated with her. My Aunt does not have the financial resources to place my Uncle in senior care. Some places here in Houston have wanted to charge her around $7,000 a month for his placement and care due to his dementia. I don't know if there are other cheaper and more reasonable places. She has not wanted to call 911 when he becomes aggressive because she is afraid to think of what they will do with him, where they will take him, or what will happen next. She has not turned to any support group for him other than his doctors. I don't know how to help her. She barely goes out ever since COVID happened. They still have taken the same precautionary measures every day since COVID happened. They stopped going out to friends, restaurants, or socializing in any way shape, or form because my aunt is still afraid of covid and catching it. They only allow us to visit and two neighbors. He has had aggressive behaviors with her and at times just leaves the house and doesn't know where he is going or sometimes states he wants to be out with nature and see how things are happening. How animals are living how people are carried on with their day-to-day and that he needed out. But he doesn't return. We have had to go out to look for him when this occurs. They have not gotten it, to say the least. But I do worry for her well-being and his as well. So any information, guidance, or suggestions you have, I would greatly appreciate it.

terei

The first thing is that your aunt should be at a CELA’s(Certified elder law attorney) office yesterday….without uncle. He can explain how to structure finances so that it may be possible that Medicaid would pay for his care in a facility. A CELA should also be able to explain what to do if a PWD is aggressive toward aunt. By all means, she should call 911 and have him taken to an ER and then on to a geriatric psych unit for assessment a proper medication to moderate or eliminate dangerous behaviors.

She should not continue to allow any hostile acts toward her…verbal or physical. Some reading of this board + reading how to try to handle PWD such as ‘The 36 Hour Day’. there are many other books people can mention. If she continues to have her head in the sand, she will have a crisis on her hands with no plan or strategies to help herself.

Jeanne C.

I'm sorry your family is going through this.

Yes, your aunt needs to call 911 if he's aggressive. She can explain that he has dementia and request that the ER transfers him to a Geripsych hospital or unit. There are medications that can help with his aggresive behavior. These meds can make a huge difference. They did for my husband.

And yes, see a CELA. They can help your aunt with power of attorney and they are experts in your state's Medicaid process. We were able to set up all sorts of benefits such as a home health aide and meals.

Calling the Alzheimer's Association helpline is a great place to start. Ask to speak to a care consultant. 800.272.3900.

jessdavila18

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/192089#Comment_192089

Thank you Jeanne for your response. I will pass this information to her. I know they are giving him some meds but I'm not sure what they are but will let my aunt know.

M1

Welcome to the forum. Your post makes me wonder a bit about your aunt's cognitive status too. Perhaps she's still more or less functioning but unable to deal with this difficult situation? Have you spent time in their home to assess things like household upkeep, fresh vs. spoiled food in the fridge, dents or dings on the car, bills being paid? Do they have children, or are you as the niece the closest relative? If so, you absolutely should go with her to see a certified elder law attorney. Someone needs to have financial and healthcare power of attorney for your uncle. He very likely needs to be hospitalized for evaluation and diagnosis, and if it's not safe or possible for her to care for him at home, then the hospital social workers can expedite Medicaid application and placement on an emergency basis. If he is a military veteran, that's another possible avenue for help. You could help her investigate what hospitals in her area have geriatric psychiatry wards, that's probably where he needs to be evaluated.