MC journey off to a very rough start

wizmo

After 3 nights secret work in late hours preparing for moving DW age 59 into MC, I thought I was going to get a break on move-in day (last Friday 3/1).  DW has had a lot of agitation and they reassured me they are used to dealing with this.  We arrived at 10am, the team assembled in her room, collected meds, signed off on last paperwork, and whisked her away for activities and snacks. I planned to disappear for at least a few days.  I was home about an hour and they called me back to help calm her and take meds she had refused at home and was still refusing.  She had already struck two residents, not off to a good start.

When I got there she was already calming down after they did give one of her high CBD/low THC gummies which do help some with agitation, temporarily.  I got her to take normal meds - seroquel, donepezil, venlafaxine.  Then I spent the entire day there from noon to 7pm, had many small conversations with staff to fill them in on history, what her routine has been, etc. and observe in more detail the workings of the place. But I had not planned on spending the day there. I got her to bed and went home.

Checking back at 8am they said she is in panic/rage, combative with staff, and I should come to try calming her again. Police had already been called. Before I got 5 minutes down the road they called again to say she was being sedated (Versed) by EMS for transport to ER; I should just go to the hospital.

At the ER she recognized me and was understandably even more disoriented. As they were trying to perform head CT the prior sedation wore off and she became unhinged again, combative and seeking exit. I had to witness the horror of her being tackled and restrained by hospital security. They had to go to Ativan+Haldol+Geodon for additional sedation to be able to finish complete medical workup. That ultimately revealed nothing special so transferred her to psych hospital for minimum 72 hour evaluation.

Psych team is not being very communicative except to collect information from me and say she is no longer in extreme distress, will be working on adjusting meds over next 3-5 days. They suggested I don't try to call or visit for at least a few days to avoid triggering her or giving false hope she is coming home. Maybe I can visit Thursday if everyone is agreeable. BTW, Wednesday is my 60th birthday, one I should never forget.

MC has reassured me they have several other current residents who went to psych hospital in early days of their placement, got treated/adjusted and returned successfully - and that none yet have failed that process needing to be placed elsewhere. It gives me some hope we'll get through this.

The main positive for me is after admission to psych hospital I know she is getting constant supervision and they should find the right medication to reach a better place than always on the brink of either agitation or despair. I've had the best 2 nights of sleep in many months, resumed exercising, tackled a bunch of to-do's, and had a number of long conversations with friends/family that were previously very limited due to relentless shadowing.

I have said before I am SO thankful to others here who have shared their experiences - especially the nightmare ones and their eventual resolutions. It has given me realistic expectations for what may transpire for myself and DW.

W

Ed1937

W, I'm so sorry. Neither one of you needed something like this. Hopefully they will get her meds straightened out soon, and she will be able to resume placement, albeit in a better frame of mind. Please keep us updated.

M1

So sorry but yes, I've been there. I do hope it will be successful. I remember that early burst of energy. Hard to sustain over the long haul, go very easy on yourself.

ghphotog

Man, I am so sorry you had this experience. I can't imagine what a nightmare it's been for you. She's so young as well, not much younger than when my DW started showing little things. My DW would get a bit unhinged at home, she's screamed at me, hit me, called me things I never thought would ever come out of her mouth. After7-8 years I could no longer keep up with her and placed her in MC. So far my transistion has been fairly uneventful but that's overshadowed by my daily sorrow that she has this freaking disease.

I'm glad you did have a couple of good days and nights. I hope that continues.

Quilting brings calm

What a horrible experience. At least MC is reassuring you.

SSHarkey

How painful for you both! Holding you both in my thoughts and prayers for peace.

mrahope

So, so sorry you had this terrible experience with placement. But just FWIW, it does show the need for professionals to be constantly monitoring your DW. I can't imagine any one person being able to attend to all the needs which were presented in these few hours. Hang in there. Wishing for better days ahead for both of you.

Buggytoo

Oh Wizmo, what a difficult time! Sending prayers that your wife's care team can help her with this transition to MC.

ThisLife

Wizmo, I'm so sorry for the challenges you are experiencing. I'm hoping the team will be able to help your wife.

RickM

I had a very similar experience when moving my dad to memory. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this. But, it sounds like she is getting the care she needs and that you have picked a MC facility that can deal with her. That is the key. After the worst weekend of my life attempting to move my dad, things finally settled down. Thankfully I found a facility that had experience dealing with behavioral problems and a geriatric psychiatrist that worked at dialing in the medication. It all worked out. I’ll be praying it will go well for you and your wife too.