Overwhelmed and not sure what to do

sn142536

Hello - I am sole caregiver for my husband with dementia / Alzheimer's. Things are changing fast for him lately. He will wander around the house and look at things like he's never seen them before. He will move things around, not remember about it, then get upset about who or why it was moved. He sometimes seems like he's not himself and during these times he seems to view me as an adversary rather than on his side. Then he will be himself again. I am beginning to worry that he will insist on doing something that isn't safe - which could be something as simple as going out the front door.

I am struggling to learn how to handle / relate to him at these times.

Also I wish he had something to keep him occupied but he can't figure out how to do anything. I would like to consider some sort of part time assistance. But even if I knew what that was, how do I get him to accept it?

I am reading posts and articles that I find. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

M1

welcome to the forum. Have you considered a day program that might keep him occupied and would give you some breaks? Your local Alzheimers association chapter or council on aging might have a list of available programs. An alternative would be to bring in a home health aide, but that might be more expensive. The council on aging might also know of local aid programs that you might be eligible for.

Sometimes it works to tell the loved one that the aide is a friend who needs a job, or that the day program needs volunteers.

Hope you have your legal homework done so that you hold his powers of attorney, etc. if wandering is a concern, you may want to put extra slide locks on your doors that are above eye level. You might also want to talk to his docs about anti anxiety medication to keep him calm.

sn142536

Thank you so much - those are great suggestions.

CindylouBesh

I am a similar situation. My husband had mild dementia for a number of but after an illness and lengthy hospital stay accelerated rapidly to stage 5. We have adjusted to this and live an active lifestyle with plenty of exercise, outdoor time and socialization for the past year and a half. He is in the hospital again and had to be on morphine for several days. Now he is completely off of it but has developed psychosis. He has constant fiddling and pulls out his oxygen,oximeter,the heart monitoring tabs, reaches under gown when he has a bowel movement and spreads feces everywhere, and tries to get out of bed. He is also constantly babbling talking to people who aren’t there,talking about things that aren’t happening, unaware that he is in the hospital. Is this a new stage that will be permanent? Or can I dare hope he will improve when he recovers and we return home?

Anyone with a similar experience please advise me what to expect. Thank you

M1

Morphine can have a long half life, so some of what you are seeing is likely drug induced delirium. hospital stays are very difficult for people with dementia, so it's probably hard to predict how much he will improve.

welcome to the forum.