Need advice

Julie882121

My 94 year old father just passed away and my soon-to-be 94 year old mother has been with me for the past 3 weeks. She has dementia. My dad and I had shared caring for her. Now it’s just me, with no family nearby. I’ve had very little sleep while my father was hospitalized and then here in hospice. I’m hoping I’ll have more patience once I get a few good night’s sleep, something my mother seems determined to prevent. She sleeps late then feels tired all day, but when she goes to bed, she seems to get energy and gets out of bed often, makes the bed, goes through closets, frequent trips to the bathroom, and then starts wandering the house and wakes me up. Should I try to get her on a schedule for when to get up, when to eat, when to go to bed, or does it not matter? Any advice? She never wants to eat, says she’s not hungry, but then she gets super tired and feels better after she eats. 24 hours with her is exhausting me. I know it will take a while for her to get used to living with me. She doesn’t remember that my dad just died. She hasn’t asked about him yet. It’s hard not being able to discuss all my worries with my mom. I miss her so much.

Quilting brings calm

please call her doctor and ask for a sleep aid for her to take at bedtime, Trazadone or mittazapine. Tell the doctor about her nighttime behavior

M1

Welcome to the forum, and im sorry for your loss. Sleep fragmentation is very common in dementia. There are several different medications that may help, however, you may also need additional help caring for her, doing it solo is exhausting. Can you afford some in-home help a few hours a week? Memory care would be another option.

Lynn24

Welcome to our support community. I can attest to needing support. We moved my mother from another state into our home almost two years ago. She is 79 and has undiagnosed dementia. We have a caregiver that helps us a few hours a day, and recently I had my mother admitted into Hospice comfort care services due to agitation symptoms.

I currently work part time, and this schedule is helping us manage right now, since I have another two years before retirement. Hospice has helped us a great deal, since we are assigned a RN case manager that coordinates all of her medical care, a bath nurse aide that comes twice a week to do bath and hygiene, as well as chaplain services, and a social worker, to coordinate quarterly respite care, in a facility. I encourage you to explore Hospice comfort care services since it is paid 100% through Medicare.

Lynn24

seroquel has helped my mother a great deal with sleep. We give her Seroquel and melatonin to help her sleep 7 to 8 hours each night.

mabelgirl

medications were the key to get my mom to sleep at night. She also had other behaviors agitation and hallucinations as well. She still goes to sleep late and wakes late but she’s not banging on my door at 2 in the morning. I’m also doing this solo in my house but am looking to get her into AL . Prayers for your rest.