Should he know he has Alzheimers?

wor913

My husband was in the doctor's office when we received the diagnosis over a year ago. Now he doesn't seem to remember that he has it. He's gone through several tests and it was confirmed. Last week he mentioned that Alzheimers must have skipped him (his mother, brother, aunt, and cousin had it). Should he be told again that he has it? He's in the early-mid stages now.

PookieBlue

I never use the terms Alzheimer’s or dementia around my husband. He has anosognosia so thinks he is ok much of the time and I avoid any such triggers as it never results in a positive conversation.

jsps139_

I would not tell him. What good would it do? I would just say … well, you are the lucky one! My husband went from being aware that something was wrong to not believing that anything was wrong with him. In year 10, he doesn’t think about it either way, and I never mention it.

M1

Welcome to the forum. I agree with the others, I wouldn't bring it up. Educate yourself about anosognosia; it's a feature of the disease that actually prevents them from being able to perceive their deficits. He truly thinks he's fine, it's not denial.

I think you will find that most on this forum don't discuss dementia with their loved ones. They forget, and it upsets them and makes them defensive to continually bring it up. But not discussing it with them certainly changes your relationship—less partner, more caregiver/dependent.

SDianeL

I never used the words Alzheimer's or Dementia with my husband. He knew he was forgetting things but I just talked about his brain. When the doctor prescribed Memantine I said it was pills for his brain. Read the book "The 36 Hour Day" which really helped me. It was recommended by a nurse. Explains the disease and provides tips on how to care for someone with dementia.

Crkddy

wor913, it's been many years ago now, but had similar experience with DW. At one point she knew and was terribly depressed as a result. This went on for many months, but eventually she no longer remembered and I never mentioned it again. It is for the best.

wor913

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/217065#Comment_217065

Thank you for your response. I'm new to this group and it seems like it's going to be very helpful.

wor913

Thank you for your comment.