We were turned down for memory care for my DH at the CRRC where we live

Palmetto Peg

My husband has been diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia. We moved to a CCRC 8 months ago and paid the initiation fee to guarantee his care. Today I was called to a meeting and informed that the memory support facility here cannot handle his case. They now want to send him to another facility that requires 2 years payment up front. We came here so he would be close to me and I could visit him easily. We also gave them $340,000 to guarantee care! They said he is too physically fit, too aggressive, and needs memory care, not memory support. I don't know what to do next! He is getting to be too much for me to handle, and I'm not sure I want him in a facility far away when we came here specifically so he would be close. Any suggestions?

M1

peg I would have an attorney review the contract you signed. That is probably going to be your best recourse. I’m so sorry.

harshedbuzz

I am so sorry.

I would urge you to speak with an attorney and see what your options are.

HB

Quilting brings calm

I agree with the need for an attorney. Also Ask him if your facility should be required to pay the fee at the other facility.

Another day...

I have heard that facilities have done this but you should be reimbursed and assisted with transfer elsewhere

easy23

HI Peg,

Are you sure the other facility is 2 years pay up front and not 2 years private pay- payable monthly?

jfkoc

lawyer-up

jfkoc

Peg…would you be comfortable sharing the name of the facility?

Dio

So sorry, Peg. As others have already advised, review contract with attorney for sure. When I was researching placement options, the CCRC sounded great initially. But the more I dug into it, the more I noticed loopholes, especially the hefty upfront commitment or community fee or whatever they called it—amount was enough to buy a house. Plus, moving into the higher care memory section was not a guarantee but based on availability. So I dropped this option. Good luck and hope you'll get an optimal resolution!

Palmetto Peg

Thank you all for your helpful comments. I reviewed the contract, and they are within their rights to refuse care. However, when we originally decided to come here, of course I was told that they took everyone, and would be able to handle any type of situation. I plan to take both of us out - where the legal requirement may come in is when I ask for my up-front money back. I will keep you posted. What a nightmare! I thought I did the right thing for us, and now I am going to have to move yet again. This disease is the worst!

GothicGremlin

Hi @Palmetto Peg

I'd speak with an attorney about this. Every state is different, but most have some kind of consumer fraud department within the office of the Attorney General. So, even if you don't go through formal litigation, you might be able to have the consumer fraud department at the AG's office look into this for you, and you might get relief from them. I'm sure the CCRC will not be amused by an inquiry by the state AG.

I don't know anything about CCRCs, so I looked at how one files a complaint against them. This link is to a law firm in New Jersey, but the large paragraph in the middle describes a case (different than yours, but similar in that the plaintiffs were trying to get part of their entrance fee back).

You stated that you were told that the fee would guarantee your DH's care, and now you're being told that no, it won't (which may, or may not be a "material omission".) If your state has a similar consumer fraud statute, your case may be covered by it. An attorney in your state will be able to give you the details.

No kidding - this disease is the worst. As if we don't have enough on our plates, we get forced into having to assert our rights.

Joe C.

Peg, I am so sorry you are in the terrible situation. I hope you can get reimbursed for your up front payment.

Kibbee

I agree with the advice to consult an attorney. Your experience makes me wonder about these new senior developments that are popping up all over. I recently attended an info meeting by a multi level care facility that is adding a large independent living campus for folks who are over 55. To move there we would have had to hand over a good sized chunk of up front money, plus pay monthly rent. They said that if we ever had to move out of independent living to one of their higher level care offerings, or decided to leave their organization entirely, we would get 90% of our up front money refunded. But the catch for me was that the refund happened only if we BOTH left independent living. If DH needed one of their higher levels of care, (regular or high acuity assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing) but I wanted to stay on the independent campus, there would have been no refund. And at that point, on top of the money already sunk into up front costs for independent living, they would require a minimum of 2 years private pay in order to accept DH into a higher level of care. Ouch. In the end I decided against a move there. We are still in our home, making it work.

Quilting brings calm

This scares me - and it’s why I have no interest in these types of facilities. It’s supposed to give you confidence and comfort that you are settled for life. But just like stand alone facilities that cherry-pick, it sounds like these places do too. So what good is it to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars up front?

The community fee to move into an apartment in my mom’s AL in 2019 was $1500. The commitment after that was monthly rental ( currently $4500). She won’t get much less notice of needing to move than Peg is dealing with.

CStrope

So many facilities at all levels are nothing but big corporate businesses that only have one goal in mind and its not the care of its residents. The only advice I have is that if they say they can't handle him, they can't. My DH has FTD and the facility I placed him at assured me that they could handle him easily and could offer him so many activities, etc. Within a month of him being there they were drafting a "kick out" letter and saying they couldn't handle him. Since that time, he has acclimated to the facility, calmed down, and progressed significantly. He was supposed to leave a long time ago, but with nowhere else to place him, they can't force him to leave. Now I have to wait until the local nursing care facility will accept him, or watch him continue to decline. I wish I had known that they couldn't provide the appropriate care for him.

ButterflyWings

My (fictitious) temporary “sympathetic aphasia” lifted today so I was able to recall the correct word for this shyster (sp?) system: Pimps.

Since DH depleted our assets pre-diagnosis, I have no funds to be of interest to the big money facility system, but the same greedy “gotcha” spirit seems to prevail in the home care agency system. Equal opportunity pimps.

My experience of the last day and week (and the last year+ really) left me shaking my head and wanting to shake my fist, or plant my foot on someone’s posterior. It is enough to make us lose our composure, truly. How is this the norm???

Palmetto Peg

I'm still struggling with this issue. My requests to meet with the financial advisor are conveniently rescheduled every time I have an appointment. And to make matters worse, the neurologist we are using is taking my DH off Seroquel because it is affecting his heart. Seroquel is the only reason I have been able to keep him with me! The sundowning and agitation are just too much without it! I hope whatever replacement drug we are given works as well. So far I haven't been ordered to move him, so I have just been waiting to see what they come up with. I will retain an attorney the minute we are told he has to be placed, but in the meantime I am just waiting. What a disaster. They have $300,000 of our life savings!!!!!!!!!!! Do not fall for the sales pitch. They could just as easily be selling a very expensive car. All they want is their commission.

Quilting brings calm

Get a lawyer now so that he’s ready to go if he is needed.

l7pla1w2

Is this something a local political figure might be able to help with, like a state representative or a Congress critter? If nothing else, it would make them aware of the kind of bait-and-switch some of these facilities seem to engage in, and they might develop protective legislation.

Palmetto Peg

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/218656#Comment_218656

It is part of the ACTS Retirement Communities - "Where Loving Kindness Lives" (gagging and choking noises)

fmb

Does your state have a Long-Term Care Ombudsman (or something like that)? It may be worth you time to give their office a call.

ronda b

I think I would call that number .

Palmetto Peg

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/220000#Comment_220000

Thank you, Ronda! I will definitely call that number. I have been summoned to another meeting with the Executive Director and the "Clinical Care" staff today at 11. I think they are worried that I am just not going to roll over and let them take advantage of my situation. In the meantime, my husband is hallucinating and sundowning and so difficult to care for!!!

jfkoc

You made your decision based on what you were told. If you continue to communicate verbally you will likely get into a he said she said situation.

this is from the site discused;

https://www.actshealthservices.org/health-services/memory-care/#service-location

Is there a reason you have not retained a lawyer???

Palmetto Peg

The "team" here is now having a change of heart. Hmmm….wonder why? I did bring a lawyer with me to the last meeting I had with them. They are now going to try to transition him in by bringing him over daily for various activities and still having him stay with me for a while at night. I am okay with this as long as it isn't too much longer. There was absolutely no reason I had to be put through this - except that they made a snap decision based on the fact that my DH is over 6 ft. tall and is still very fit. I did go through some major aggression with him, but that has been tamped down with Seroquel. I will keep you posted as to whether or not they keep their promise. We don't need this aggravation on top of caring for a partner in an already lose-lose situation! Thanks for all of the support!

midge333

Good news. Fingers crosssed. You and your DH do not deserve this added BS.

M1

That is indeed good news. Keep us posted.

Crushed

Hi Ive been away for a while

Please everyone you need the contract reviewed BEFORE you sign it.

Ive been a lawyer since 1976 When I reviewed my parents senior contract it was so convoluted I could not understand it. but In the end it worked out ok. DW is in memory care and we can leave anytime