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We were turned down for memory care for my DH at the CRRC where we live

My husband has been diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia. We moved to a CCRC 8 months ago and paid the initiation fee to guarantee his care. Today I was called to a meeting and informed that the memory support facility here cannot handle his case. They now want to send him to another facility that requires 2 years payment up front. We came here so he would be close to me and I could visit him easily. We also gave them $340,000 to guarantee care! They said he is too physically fit, too aggressive, and needs memory care, not memory support. I don't know what to do next! He is getting to be too much for me to handle, and I'm not sure I want him in a facility far away when we came here specifically so he would be close. Any suggestions?

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    peg I would have an attorney review the contract you signed. That is probably going to be your best recourse. I’m so sorry.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,470
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    I am so sorry.

    I would urge you to speak with an attorney and see what your options are.

    HB

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,479
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    I agree with the need for an attorney. Also Ask him if your facility should be required to pay the fee at the other facility.

  • Another day...
    Another day... Member Posts: 31
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    I have heard that facilities have done this but you should be reimbursed and assisted with transfer elsewhere

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 212
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    edited August 9

    HI Peg,

    Are you sure the other facility is 2 years pay up front and not 2 years private pay- payable monthly?

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,874
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    lawyer-up

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,874
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    Peg…would you be comfortable sharing the name of the facility?

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 712
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    So sorry, Peg. As others have already advised, review contract with attorney for sure. When I was researching placement options, the CCRC sounded great initially. But the more I dug into it, the more I noticed loopholes, especially the hefty upfront commitment or community fee or whatever they called it—amount was enough to buy a house. Plus, moving into the higher care memory section was not a guarantee but based on availability. So I dropped this option. Good luck and hope you'll get an optimal resolution!

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 857
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    Hi @Palmetto Peg

    I'd speak with an attorney about this. Every state is different, but most have some kind of consumer fraud department within the office of the Attorney General. So, even if you don't go through formal litigation, you might be able to have the consumer fraud department at the AG's office look into this for you, and you might get relief from them. I'm sure the CCRC will not be amused by an inquiry by the state AG.

    I don't know anything about CCRCs, so I looked at how one files a complaint against them. This link is to a law firm in New Jersey, but the large paragraph in the middle describes a case (different than yours, but similar in that the plaintiffs were trying to get part of their entrance fee back).

    You stated that you were told that the fee would guarantee your DH's care, and now you're being told that no, it won't (which may, or may not be a "material omission".) If your state has a similar consumer fraud statute, your case may be covered by it. An attorney in your state will be able to give you the details.

    No kidding - this disease is the worst. As if we don't have enough on our plates, we get forced into having to assert our rights.

  • Joe C.
    Joe C. Member Posts: 964
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    Peg, I am so sorry you are in the terrible situation. I hope you can get reimbursed for your up front payment.

  • Kibbee
    Kibbee Member Posts: 229
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    I agree with the advice to consult an attorney. Your experience makes me wonder about these new senior developments that are popping up all over. I recently attended an info meeting by a multi level care facility that is adding a large independent living campus for folks who are over 55. To move there we would have had to hand over a good sized chunk of up front money, plus pay monthly rent. They said that if we ever had to move out of independent living to one of their higher level care offerings, or decided to leave their organization entirely, we would get 90% of our up front money refunded. But the catch for me was that the refund happened only if we BOTH left independent living. If DH needed one of their higher levels of care, (regular or high acuity assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing) but I wanted to stay on the independent campus, there would have been no refund. And at that point, on top of the money already sunk into up front costs for independent living, they would require a minimum of 2 years private pay in order to accept DH into a higher level of care. Ouch. In the end I decided against a move there. We are still in our home, making it work.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,479
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    This scares me - and it’s why I have no interest in these types of facilities. It’s supposed to give you confidence and comfort that you are settled for life. But just like stand alone facilities that cherry-pick, it sounds like these places do too. So what good is it to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars up front?

    The community fee to move into an apartment in my mom’s AL in 2019 was $1500. The commitment after that was monthly rental ( currently $4500). She won’t get much less notice of needing to move than Peg is dealing with.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    edited August 18

    My (fictitious) temporary “sympathetic aphasia” lifted today so I was able to recall the correct word for this shyster (sp?) system: Pimps.

    Since DH depleted our assets pre-diagnosis, I have no funds to be of interest to the big money facility system, but the same greedy “gotcha” spirit seems to prevail in the home care agency system. Equal opportunity pimps.

    My experience of the last day and week (and the last year+ really) left me shaking my head and wanting to shake my fist, or plant my foot on someone’s posterior. It is enough to make us lose our composure, truly. How is this the norm???

  • Palmetto Peg
    Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 197
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    I'm still struggling with this issue. My requests to meet with the financial advisor are conveniently rescheduled every time I have an appointment. And to make matters worse, the neurologist we are using is taking my DH off Seroquel because it is affecting his heart. Seroquel is the only reason I have been able to keep him with me! The sundowning and agitation are just too much without it! I hope whatever replacement drug we are given works as well. So far I haven't been ordered to move him, so I have just been waiting to see what they come up with. I will retain an attorney the minute we are told he has to be placed, but in the meantime I am just waiting. What a disaster. They have $300,000 of our life savings!!!!!!!!!!! Do not fall for the sales pitch. They could just as easily be selling a very expensive car. All they want is their commission.

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,479
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    Get a lawyer now so that he’s ready to go if he is needed.

  • l7pla1w2
    l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 176
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    Is this something a local political figure might be able to help with, like a state representative or a Congress critter? If nothing else, it would make them aware of the kind of bait-and-switch some of these facilities seem to engage in, and they might develop protective legislation.

  • Palmetto Peg
    Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 197
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    It is part of the ACTS Retirement Communities - "Where Loving Kindness Lives" (gagging and choking noises)

  • fmb
    fmb Member Posts: 398
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    Does your state have a Long-Term Care Ombudsman (or something like that)? It may be worth you time to give their office a call.

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 94
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    I think I would call that number .

  • Palmetto Peg
    Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 197
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    Thank you, Ronda! I will definitely call that number. I have been summoned to another meeting with the Executive Director and the "Clinical Care" staff today at 11. I think they are worried that I am just not going to roll over and let them take advantage of my situation. In the meantime, my husband is hallucinating and sundowning and so difficult to care for!!!

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,874
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    edited August 23

    You made your decision based on what you were told. If you continue to communicate verbally you will likely get into a he said she said situation.

    this is from the site discused;

    https://www.actshealthservices.org/health-services/memory-care/#service-location

    Is there a reason you have not retained a lawyer???

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 316
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    Good news. Fingers crosssed. You and your DH do not deserve this added BS.

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    That is indeed good news. Keep us posted.

  • Crushed
    Crushed Member Posts: 1,463
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    Hi Ive been away for a while

    Please everyone you need the contract reviewed BEFORE you sign it.

    Ive been a lawyer since 1976 When I reviewed my parents senior contract it was so convoluted I could not understand it. but In the end it worked out ok. DW is in memory care and we can leave anytime

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more