Stopped showering and talks to pictures

Shireen

I am new here. My DM was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 3 years ago but is in denial. He is slowly getting worse and I think he is in stage 3-4. I have two issues:

1. He is now talking to pictures of family on the fridge all day. Yesterday he insisted I leave the light on for them. Is that normal?

2. For the last 3 weeks he hasn’t had a shower and doesn’t change his clothes for days at a time. He sleeps in the shirt and jeans and shoes that he wears all day. He used to be a stickler for daily bathing/shaving. Every time I tell him to shower he gets agitated and says he showered yesterday and that he is not a hobo and accuses me of not showering. How should I handle this and get him to shower?

Your feedback will be appreciated. Thanks!

Iris L.

Welcome Shireen. Your PWD is not in denial, he has anosognosia. This is a characteristic of dementia that causes the patient to be unaware of having dementia. He truly believes he is fine. If you confront him with reality, he will get upset. So don't do that. Do not discuss dementia or his limitations. You will learn the work-arounds that the members use to get things done.

In his case now, he may need some medications for his hallucinations. In the meantime, cover mirrors and anything reflective because a PWD may not recognize his own reflection and believe it to be someone else, or several people. Also, limit television, PWDs tend to believe the characters are real people in the house. More members will be along with more welcomes and more info.

Iris

clarinetist

Others will have suggestions for the showering. As far as the fridge pictures go, do the conversations make him upset? If it’s not bothersome, I’d let him continue. And I’d leave the light on. If the conversations make him agitated, I’d remove the pictures.

Also some of the symptoms you’re describing occur in the later stages. Hopefully someone here will post the Tam Cummings stages.

clarinetist

Okay, I will try to post the stages link: hopefully this works:

https://www.tamcummings.com/s/DBAT.pdf

And I forgot to say, welcome to the forum. Sorry you have to be here.

Joe C.

I agree with the comments above about the pictures. The fear of showing is almost universal among people with dementia. You will need to figure out if there is something that will make the shower more acceptable for him. For my DW responded to music, a warm bathroom and warmed towels. I would get everything warmed up, then up on her favorite music then I would have more luck coaxing her into the shower. Initially I would need to guide her while she was in shower as to how to wash and eventually I wood need to get in the shower and wash her myself as she forgot what she needed to do.

M1

Welcome to the forum. I would agree these sound like stage 5 symptoms at least. Atypical antipsychotics like Seroquel and Risperdal may help somewhat with the delusions, especially if he's agitated. Tam cummings has some good videos on YouTube including one on bathing tips. If you look to the right under Quick links and groups, there is one for new members with a lot of useful information.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/70573/stopped-showering-and-talks-to-pictures

Hi Shireen, as others have said, he is at least in stage 5. About 3 months ago, My DH started the resistance to showering and thinking he had always showered. I asked him to come to the bathroom because I need him. I then show him the shower that is completely dry and explain that he couldn't have taken a shower or it would be all wet. I encourage him and demonstrate how to wash himself. Of course, this strategy will only last so long before he will not be able to respond to reasoning. My DH is currently hospitalized and is unable to following one-step requests. Unless this changes, I would be at wits end to handle someone who is not able to follow requests.

CampCarol

Welcome Shirleen! My DH has refused to shower for months now. Every once in a while, I can get him to the barber where they will wash his hair. Luckily, he’s still ok with the occasional sponge bath and more frequent rinse-free bathing wipes; it’s just not worth the angst any more to fight with him about it. I’ve learned that I need to pick my battles, and this one just isn't at the top of the list any longer.

ImMaggieMae

Welcome to the forum. Have you talked to his doctor about medications for his hallucinations? Antipsychotics like Seroquel or Rispiradone are often helpful for that and for agitation.
I always take a shower with my husband since this is about the only way to make sure he’s clean. We have a small adjustable shower chair and grab bars on two of the walls. He’s not always delighted about getting in, but usually calmer and cooperative once we get started. It’s still a big deal. Between shaving and trimming his beard beforehand, and getting him dried off and dressed after, it’s about an hour. We shower 2 to 3 times a week and I use a variety of different wet wipes and rinse free pads on other days. Whenever he’s in the bathroom and changing clothes, I clean any visible skin with wipes. He’s stage 6/7 and lives at home.

jfkoc

What meds does the neurologist have your husband taking? What meds from the PCP?